Disbelief, anger, pain in a Moby moment

personal

I was assaulted tonight.

I’m angry. I’m confused. And I hurt, despite the ice and double dose of Aleve pills.

I was walking back to my car this evening after a really fun dance, and just as I turned the corner, a random group of guys approached me and one of them slugged me hard on the side of my face.

I went down hard on the cement. Tore up my new slacks. And I look like a lopsided chipmunk right now.

But more than anything, I’m just asking myself WHY. At the risk of sounding whiney, it’s just unfair. I had a great night. I was nice to people. They were nice to me. I didn’t do anything to provoke getting punched. I didn’t try to kiss anyone’s girlfriend, I didn’t cop an attitude to people passing by, nothing. It seems just so, well, random to turn a corner and BAM!

And then there’s the anger. I don’t want to kill these guys, but I’d enjoy practicing some of my kickboxing moves on them, one by one. I want to teach them a lesson. I want them to hurt. Even though I know this wouldn’t work, I want them to be sorry, dammit.

But at the bottom of it all, maybe I just want to ask them why. Was I just a random yuppie target-with-a-tie? Did I look too happy? Why did they feel the need to lash out like that?

And why do I care anyway? Why is WHY so important? Would I really feel that much better if I could piece together order and reason out of this violent mini-chaos? Would it make any difference in the way I live my life?

Perhaps this is merely a reminder that life is not only not ‘fair’… it’s not logical. I’m not sure if there’s a moral somewhere in that, but at least it’s good to know and take to heart.

1 comment… add one
  • Jen Dec 24, 2002

    Adam! I hope you’re healing well. How shocking to come back from a weekend away to find that this happened to you. Sending you healing thoughts—for body and mind.

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