How not to impress women — a weighty example

grab bag, personal, wackiness

About twice a week, I take synchronized weightlifting classes (also known as “Body Pump” or “Reebok Core,” etc.) at my gym, since doing weights by myself is only slightly more exciting than watching paint dry.

Not only are these classes a generally fun and effective way to build muscle tone without falling asleep, they also offer quite pleasant, ahem, views… especially since well over half of the class tends to be female. 🙂

So far, so good, right? Well, except for last night, when I decided to try out the same class with a different instructor.

I arrived a bit late to this particularly crowded class, and learned to my chagrin that there was but one weight clip left. Determined not to miss out on the class due to this little technicality, I assured myself that I could balance the weights on my barbell just fine. Therefore, I politely declined the kindly offer of my friendly workout neighbor who pointed to his extra handweights.

Everything was going just hunky dory… the weights were staying on, I was getting a fine workout in this new class, and — the occasional pig that I am — I was none-to-disappointed at my default placement at the back of the room.

When it came time for over-the-head presses (or whatever they’re actually called when you lay down on a bench and lift the weights over your head repeatedly), I was on top of the world… ably lifting more than my typical load and feeling good about it, thankyouverymuch. Unfortunately, moments later, half of my weights decided they weren’t quite as happy with the arrangement, choosing to hop off my barbell onto the floor with a loud CRASH.

Becoming perilously unbalanced with now lots of weight on one side of me and no weight on the other side, I pretty quickly and gracelessly tumbled off my bench on to the floor, resulting in an extra double kathunk (my body, followed by the remaining weights, which — though it would have muffled the crash — thankfully didn’t land on top of me).

Upon realizing that the only serious injury was to my pride, the instructor bellowed “Missing weight clips?” just as the entire class looked over at the New Guy in a combination of horror, amusement, and disdain.

What a weighty and embarrassing first impression! 😐

4 comments… add one
  • Matt Hendrickson Dec 6, 2003

    As a person who lifted weights in high school, it’s called the “bench press.” Clever name, huh? 😛

    Now if you were laying on an inclined bench, it would be called, guess what?, the “Inclined Bench Press.” But if you’re sitting straight up on a bench and lifting a bar over your head, it’s called the “military press.”

    I should start hitting the weight room again. Who knows, I lift enough weight and I could be Governor of Cahl-eee-for-ni-yah!

  • Adam Lasnik Dec 7, 2003

    Actually, what I was trying to describe is not a bench press.  That’s typically when you’re lying down and pushing the weights squarely above your chest.

    In contrast, with the exercise I was talking about in my entry above, we had to lay down, keep our arms straight and then lift our arms (and the weights) over our head, then back up.

  • Steven Oct 12, 2009

    Its called an overhead extension…works your lats (the mid muscles in your back) by stretching them, minor muscles used are the forearms and triceps for stabilization purposes, this exercise is wondful for the stretch in your chest too haha keep doing them…theyve done me a lot of good

  • Steven Oct 12, 2009

    common misconception is the overhead extension when you sit on a bench and work your triceps with a barbell or dumbell by breaking at the elbow and coming back up to the starting position squeezing your triceps interior head…correction its called lying overhead extensions

What do you think?