I’m staking a claim to Web 4.0!

grab bag, technology, wackiness

Okay, I admit it.  I missed the boat and jealously hollered that naming anything Web 2.0 is a bunch of crap.  So more recently I thought, hey, that’s no problem, I’ll just glom onto Web 3.0, the semantic Web.  I mean, look, I have lots of nice Jewish programmer friends, so who am I to be anti-semantic?!

But dammit, then I discovered that Nicholas Carr has already laid claim to Web 3.0!  The bastard!

Never fear, dear BLADAM readers… I have the solution!  I am hereby claiming as my own Web 4.0… with t-shirts and stickers, special edges, an expensive conference, and a network of blogs.

Yes, yes, I hear your skepticism already:  So, Adam-you-total-killjoy-smartass, pray tell us… what exactly is Web 4.0?  Well, I thought you’d never ask!  Allow me to explain this scintillating new Web with crystal clarity.

Web 4.0 involves two-way individually-aggregated communal infocommerce predicated upon the six human senses!  Sure, smell-o-vision may have crashed and burned, fine, maybe that tactile mouse thing never took off… but all of it combined?  And tied to the Web?  Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be big.

SMELL the Web.  FEEL the Web.  TASTE the Web (actually, this part includes just LICK until 4.1, but that’s a mere troublesome tribble).  Imagine a wackypedia entry with which you can SMELL Detroit!  Imagine your favorite mapping service applied tactilely to 

Pamela Anderson’s cleavage

 academically enlightening geodesic dome models… collaboratively, in real time!

But I’m not stopping there.  I’m also trademarking the following:
– Television 4.0 (2.0 clicked with the remote)
– Medicine 4.0 (Viagra lifted it up to 2.0)
– Philosophy 4.0 (Exiting the cave was 2.0)
– Air travel 4.0 (Southwest is 2.0!)
– The Law 4.0 (The McDonald’s Coffee heated things up to 2.0)

and

…wait a minute? What’s that you say?  We never really did refer to any of these things as 2.0?  No one has ever blathered on about whether Jet Blue qualifies as part of Air travel 2.0?  Or whether a doctor is adhering to Medicine 2.0 principles? (maybe if he has—snort—well-rounded edges and listens to his patients?).  Hmm… how about “My new Sony is so Television 2.0!”  No?  It just sounds silly and goofily arbitrary?

No matter!  If my 4.0 schwag is really hip and if I can get enough bloggers to BlogOn!(tm), we can make this a true movement with all 0.0000037% of the world’s citizens who are also nomenclature-obsessed-geeks.  Our numbers may be small, but we’re powerful… just look at our Alexa graph, babeeee!  You dare compete with that? 😉

15 comments… add one
  • Haochi Nov 12, 2006

    You are a little bit late.
    Philipp Lenssen has already claimed it.
    “Others still call these kind of blogs autrasplogs (a horrible Web 4.0 acronym, if I may say so, for auto translated spam blogs), because they add multiple versions of a page to search results of Google, Yahoo and JeevesIsBack.”

  • Adam Nov 12, 2006

    Curses!  Foiled again 🙁

    I guess there’s always Web 5.0, right?  AND… Web40.info is still available 😀

  • joel Nov 15, 2006

    I also beat you on Web 4.0 a couple months ago http://hydeparkassociates.com/blog/?p=290 and went ahead with Web 5.0 as well. We need one of those things they have in Baskin Robbins where you pull a paper number out of the machine indicating your place in line.

  • You are hilarious! You made me laugh out loud. 😀 mary

  • SEO Bozo Box Nov 16, 2006

    Oooh no, you will not have that keyword Adam because it is mine, all mine!!! ;-0

  • Dave Walker Nov 16, 2006

    Never mind “ .0”, I reckon the concepts to get dibs and definitions on are OSI layers 8, 9, 10 etc :-D.Let’s start: 8 = business function, 9 = liability…

  • neon Nov 16, 2006

    I want to register myself with some Big Boobs 4 😉

  • JohnWeb Nov 17, 2006

    How about Web3D, add another dimension?

  • Joe Duck Nov 17, 2006

    Adam – nice to finally meet you in person here at Pubcon.  Even the aging Web 2.0 seems conspicuously absent here, which is the big thing I’m taking away from the conference.  There’s a disconnect between the edgy development I’ve been seeing at, e.g., Mashup Camps and what many here are up to.  This, of course, is going to make it all 3x as interesting!

    I claim Web 0/0 = an undefined sort of infinity, and thus cover all the bases.

  • rekz Dec 1, 2006

    Adam—I saw this all in a movie—it’s called the Matrix.  You can get an idea of it by watching people play Playstation 3 for hours.

    Have you considered what will happen when the simulation is more fun than the real?

    Have you considered that you may already be in something similar?

    Why waste all this time checking out of reality, when the reality we are already checked INTO is so awesome?

    I look out my window and I can’t even see green.

    Not sure if that means I’d rather see simulations of green, or if I’d like to see the simulacra of beauty knocked down?

    How’s THAT for a rant?

    PEACE—the war must end!

    rekzkarz in SF
    http://rekzkarz.com

  • jamey Dec 15, 2006

    Nice rant.  In fact, you inspired a little one of my own.

  • James Mar 25, 2008

    No one wants to learn your superb ideas for Web 3. 0, 4. 0, or 99. 0 (and before you seek, wear’t still believe about some sort of stealth versioning with a Web 2. 0 Service Pack 1 or Web 2. 0 Enterprise Edition. The versioning craziness must halt.
    No need of web 5.0

  • George Oct 28, 2009

    I don’t get all this web point 0 talk and what is the purpose of it.  It drives me batty.

  • William Cheek Nov 17, 2009

    Tried to claim it back in August!

  • Wiktor Apr 2, 2010

    Yeah it’s really funny. Who cares what we named it. It doesn’t matter if we say it’s 1.0 or 9.0…

What do you think?