Naked eunuch sumo wrestler with Whitney Houston… at my gym?!

grab bag, wackiness

Life is strange sometimes.

Why does my gym think that people want to pump some iron to cheesy Whitney-style ballads?

And what exactly was that portly fella thinking when he wandered into the swim area buck naked? With no genitalia at that!

I watched — yes, I couldn’t help it — I literally STARED at this guy waddling towards the hot tub.

As reality would have it, I soon discovered that he was not, in fact, naked. Though I cannot attest to whether he is (or was) either a sumo wrestler or a eunuch, I can now state with utmost certainty that he was wearing a skin-colored and seemingly slightly transparent speedo, overlapped by a prodigious belly.

This raises three questions:

1) Why would someone do this to themselves, and to innocent onlookers?

2) Why would I write about something like this? With my luck, this’ll spur a “Quasi-naked Sumo Wrestler Eunuch” meme and — with my name then attached — I’ll find myself branded in a particularly unfortunate manner. I can see it now: “Hmm… this gentleman looks imminently well-qualified… but wait, don’t I recognize that name somewhere? Ah yes, he’s the Quasi-naked Sumo Wrestler Eunuch blogger! Er, okay, next candidate?” Or worse yet, “That Adam guy would make for a great catch, if only he hadn’t squandered his lofty reputation on a blog entry about [puckered up face] quasi-naked sumo wrestling eunuchs. Ugh!”

3) How long before this entry advances to the top of the Google rankings for perverted variations of unclothed pot-bellied fashion un-examples?

UPDATE: My blog is now the first match on Google for:
– Naked sumo wrestler
– Naked eunuch
– Eunuch wrestler
– Slightly transparent speedo

and, as predicted, “unclothed pot-bellied fashion un-examples”

Not only that, but this entry is the first match (and clearly definitive answer) to the age-old question:
– Is Whitney Houston a Eunuch?

Oh Lord, what have I done?!? 🙂

4 comments… add one
  • Matt Hendrickson Jun 18, 2003

    Adam… you need to get back on your medicine… we’re all worried about you…. 😉

  • sumo21 Jun 9, 2007

    i reallly like penis and large sumos 😀

  • chris Jan 6, 2009

    wish u took some pictures for us to see…

  • Nasty!

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