My own personal checklist.
Meeting someone to date…
AT A BAR: Unlikely (for me) at best. Plus potentially yucky, due to beer goggles on either or both sides.
AT ONE’S COMPANY:
Like meeting a woman at a bar (potentially yucky), not to mention potentially stupid and dangerous, especially if/when things go sour. Dating someone on your work team… really REALLY stupid.
AT MY CURRENT COMPANY:
Well, I kinda do this anyway while I’m looking for someone better. NOTE: I am currently self-employed. VERDICT: Handy (groan) but definitely lacking in the romance department.
AT THE GYM:
After over a year of having a crush on one of my kickboxing instructors, we ended up going out on one quasi-date, and then she fled the state two weeks later. Okay, so maybe she got a huge job promotion and moved to Arizona. But still, it was depressing. Other efforts at starting something romantic with gym friends have been less dramatic but even less successful. VERDICT: Not very good place for asking someone out.
AT THE LAUNDROMAT:
I’m one of the few folks at my local laundromat who speaks English. ’nuff said.
I recently took some extra-curricular classes at my local junior college. Like the above category, few of my fellow students spoke English (making teamwork rather, uh, challenging). The others were typically around 10 years younger than I am. VERDICT: Uh, no way, Jos?.
“Adam, I know this daaaaarling girl who would be so perfect for you! She has a great job, and she’s smart and…” (click) VERDICT: These are the same folks that bought me THOSE clothes to wear to school when I was younger. Uh huh.
This really just transpired last week:
“Adam, I know this girl who’d be awesome for ya… she saw your site and wants to meet you… and she’s really funny, cute, 5’8…”
“Uh, I’m 5’6″. She go for shorter guys?”
“I’ll ask her!”
….two days later…
“Oh, I’m sorry, Adam! It’s a no go. You’re really 5’6″? You seem much taller….!”
(if I had a nickel for every friend who said that last part…)
VERDICT: Friends are well meaning, but not very good matchmakers.
* * *
So, gee, it’s not surprising that the Lindy Hop crowd is lookin’ better and better, eh?
Especially since I’m attracted to women with similar interests to mine (wow, imagine that!) and Lindy Hop women generally:
– Share my love of swing music
– Love to dance (duh!)
– Are at least a bit social
– Tend to be active / athletic
– Appreciate/admire/want to make violent love with musicians
So, basically, what it comes down to is that the folks I really shouldn’t date (people in my currently-favorite and oft-attended ‘scene’) are those I have the most compatibility with and probably best chance of dating.
These are, however, also the same women that I am reluctant to ask out for reasons that are probably obvious to most of us. I mean, when we see each other every week (or sometimes more often), it’s a little transparent to ask a woman out to dinner or a movie or whatever.
Ironic, frustrating. Maybe I just need to start going to out-of-town dance exchanges 😀