Naked eunuch sumo wrestler with Whitney Houston… at my gym?!

Life is strange sometimes.

Why does my gym think that people want to pump some iron to cheesy Whitney-style ballads?

And what exactly was that portly fella thinking when he wandered into the swim area buck naked? With no genitalia at that!

I watched — yes, I couldn’t help it — I literally STARED at this guy waddling towards the hot tub.

As reality would have it, I soon discovered that he was not, in fact, naked. Though I cannot attest to whether he is (or was) either a sumo wrestler or a eunuch, I can now state with utmost certainty that he was wearing a skin-colored and seemingly slightly transparent speedo, overlapped by a prodigious belly.

This raises three questions:

1) Why would someone do this to themselves, and to innocent onlookers?

2) Why would I write about something like this? With my luck, this’ll spur a “Quasi-naked Sumo Wrestler Eunuch” meme and — with my name then attached — I’ll find myself branded in a particularly unfortunate manner. I can see it now: “Hmm… this gentleman looks imminently well-qualified… but wait, don’t I recognize that name somewhere? Ah yes, he’s the Quasi-naked Sumo Wrestler Eunuch blogger! Er, okay, next candidate?” Or worse yet, “That Adam guy would make for a great catch, if only he hadn’t squandered his lofty reputation on a blog entry about [puckered up face] quasi-naked sumo wrestling eunuchs. Ugh!”

3) How long before this entry advances to the top of the Google rankings for perverted variations of unclothed pot-bellied fashion un-examples?

UPDATE: My blog is now the first match on Google for:
– Naked sumo wrestler
– Naked eunuch
– Eunuch wrestler
– Slightly transparent speedo

and, as predicted, “unclothed pot-bellied fashion un-examples”

Not only that, but this entry is the first match (and clearly definitive answer) to the age-old question:
– Is Whitney Houston a Eunuch?

Oh Lord, what have I done?!? 🙂

4 comments

  1. Adam… you need to get back on your medicine… we’re all worried about you…. 😉

What do you think?

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