What is the Matrix? A really crappy over-hyped special effects vehicle.

Hey there,

With all the hoopla surrounding the upcoming Matrix Reloaded movie, I was reminded about my sadness regarding its predecessor.

Why sadness? Well, everyone RAVED about the movie, and I thought it was, well, one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen, to put it bluntly. I WANTED to love it, but I just couldn’t. And as a geek / sci-fi lover, I was so disappointed in what I feel was the squandered potential.

Special effects? Great! Carrie Ann Moss in tight pants? Delicious! New opportunities to make fun of Keanu? Priceless.

But the movie overall? Um, I just don’t get the hype.

First of all, I simply couldn’t buy into the central theme. Megacomputer decides humans are a pox upon the universe (gee, never seen THAT before, eh?!). But megacomputer still needs energy (I guess geothermal power wouldn’t cut it), so it decides to use humans’ brain waves or whatnot for energy.

Of course, in order to keep the humans alive, it’s gotta put ’em in pods of some sort and feed them.

And what’s the creating-alternate-reality thing for? I mean, if Megacomputer needs to keep the humans alive to tap their energy, why not just put ’em into a coma vegetative state without any significant dreams or alternate reality? Why the elaborate deception? (I know, I know, “There wouldn’t be a movie otherwise!”… but that’s not exactly a sound foundation for a plot now, is it?)

All of this pales in comparison, however, to my befuddlement as to the whole mess behind the Megacomputer’s lack of omniscience and power. Why do the rules of physics even remotely apply to Agent Smith and his compu-constructed crowd? Why don’t they know exactly what and where Neo and his gang are up to? And what’s with all the kung fu? Once again, sure, it makes for great eye-candy, but plot-wise, wtf?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not such a geek that I can’t enjoyably suspend disbelief in my entertainment. Hell, I loved over-the-top insanity in Total Recall, I bought into talking animals in Babe, my BS detector didn’t go into overdrive when E.T. or Superman took to the sky, and I even like musicals where people break into song for no real reason, logical or otherwise.

But The Matrix just struck me as all symbolism and flash and little if any depth. Aside from the fact that it was nearly all derivative (and from cyberpunk stuff that was more logical and plot-driven, like the book “Neuromancer”), the whole movie just seemed like all “Whoah! Deeeeep!” from a premise with more holes than swiss cheese.

Okay, thank you, thank you. I just needed to get all of that off my chest.