Category: grab bag

  • The *Filled to All Available* Syndrome

    Over some coffee this afternoon, I contemplated what I have now coined the “Filled to All Available” or “FTAA” syndrome.  Here’s what it means, basically.  As humans, we tend towards and often feel more comfortable within defined boundaries.  Ambiguities and uncertain limits force us to think, to apply sometimes-risky judgement calls, and in our rushed and often bureaucratic society, that can be stressful.  So, we thrive in a FTAA environment; we fill up our desks, our closets, our schedules to capacity.  If we get larger desks, bigger closets, or unexpected free time, somehow we find a way to fill or fritter away the excess space.  At an all-you-can-eat buffet, we tend to think of “getting our money’s worth” and—you guessed it—filling up rather than lightly sampling.  We eat until we are not just satisfied, but stuffed.  We store junk until our apartments are bursting at the seams.  We live a life that is “Filled to All Available.”

    What does this actually mean?  Well, for starters, it suggests that making more money, getting a bigger house, and buying bigger boxes of chocolates at Costco will not necessarily make us happier, healthier, or more productive.  On the flip side, it suggests that there are key advantages to thinking and doing Less in order to simplify and de-clutter our lives.

    One way to go about doing this is to increase the proportion of shared or borrowed resources in our life and decrease the amount of things “owned.”  This can be electronic (renting music, a la Yahoo Music Unlimited instead of “owning” [sic] music via iTunes), small-scale physical (borrowing books instead of buying them), and large-scale physical (car-sharing instead of owning a car).

    Beyond this, there are mental changes that can be made as well… primarily pushing oneself away from a college-era mentality of hoarding and scarcity.  Dividing up a large chocolate bar into smaller pieces and storing or giving away the majority.  Visiting only two cities (for longer) instead of five, despite having an unlimited Eurail pass.  Resisting the temptation to check Deals Web sites five times a day to buy stuff we don’t need with rebates we’ll forget to file.

    *  *  *

    The lesson at the end of the day:  Think not what you have the resources to get or do.  Think instead of what you need.  Then think again.  Avoid the “Filled to All Available” syndrome by decluttering your life, minimizing excess, and regaining focus.

    Easier said than done, but very, very worthwhile.

    *  *  *

    What are ways in which you’ve found your life “Filled to All Available”?  What have you done to combat this?

  • Shocking car cost calculations

    Okay, so maybe this is a total “duh!” observation, but I’ve just come to the stark realization of how insanely expensive it is to own a car in the Bay Area.

    And no, I’m not even talking about gas prices.

    You see, my current 1992 car is about ready to join that great pile in the sky (or junkyard) known as Car Heaven.  Let’s just say he’s seen better days.  So, environmentally-concerned and smart-researcher guy that I am, I’ve been learning towards buying a Toyota Prius hybrid gas/electric car. 

    But ouch!  Let me share some of the approximate costs with you…

    Over a hypothetical 12 year life of the car:
    – $25,000 (at a pretty low base level, and not taking into account interest or the net present value of money, but including taxes, fees, etc.)
    – $12,000 for insurance ($1K per year)
    – $ 6,000 for routine maintenance and repair ($500 per year in oil changes, etc.)———————-
    That’s $43,000.

    And that doesn’t include:
    – Gas
    – Parking
    – Parking tickets
    – Costs of accidents

    *  *  *

    That $43,000 works out to be about $300 per month.

    Given that I’ll soon easily be able to take public transit to work, the only time I’ll need a car is when going out on the town with friends and such.  Let’s say that’s an average of 10 times a month.

    Clearly, that works out to $30 per trip.  With ZipCar, I’d pay $7.25/hr (no mileage or gas charges).  Or given the compactness of San Francisco, I could probably inexpensively grab a taxi for most of those 10 outings (or, of equal likelihood, bum a ride home with friends and just help with gas costs).

    *  *  *

    In other words, I could just ditch the car and end up saving an enormous amount of money over the long haul, not have to worry about parking tickets, getting dinged in the parking lot, having windows broken (which has happened three times to my crappy old car in my six years here in San Francisco), and so on.

    Sure, the Prius is sexy.  In some ways it’d be very convenient (I could drive to work without having to worry about bus schedules), and I can imagine appreciating having a car when visiting friends in Sacramento and such.  But now I know the cost!

  • Hydraulic shoes for dancers and other women

    Leave it up to my fellow dancer friends to think up something that’s equally entertaining and potentially useful.

    To my non-Lindy-Hop reader friends… one thing you should know:  In general, it’s a major faux pas to wear high heels when swing dancing.  The follow’s balance tends to be off, the guys are afraid of getting stabbed when doing charlestons, and so on.  In fact, a running joke is that you can identify (and avoid) the total newbies by seeing which women are wearing high heels.  Same thing for blues dancing and blues dancers.

    But this creates a bit of a conflict.  Often times blues dancers are avid tango’ers… and occasionally, there are hybrid events which combine the worlds of blues and tango dancing.  In tango, it’s apparently quite customary, even desireable for the follows to be decked out in high heels.

    So what to do, other than trudging a very large purse or backpack along with you for a second pair of shoes, not to mention having to miss out on a song just to change shoes?

    Well, this is where one of my fellow dancers’ brilliance comes into play.  Embarrassingly, I can’t remember the specific person to suggest this over 2am Thai food post-dancing (it all tends to become a blur, you know), but I have to give props to the fella who came up with the idea of hydraulic shoes.

    A woman is blues dancing… in nice, comfortable flats.  Then she pushes a button (perhaps even via a discreet remote-control switch on her belt or whatnot), and ffffffvoom!  Her shoes immediately transform into high-heels for an impromptu bit of tango’ing.

    Hmm… uh oh… Creepy Guy(tm) is approaching her after the song ends and she has to make a quick getaway.  pfffffffsssss!  Instant flats again… enabling her to deftly escape her social-graces-challenged pursuer!

    *  *  *

    Of course, given the high percentage of my fellow dancers who are geeks (and thus unsurprisingly the analytical sort), we then debated how this might work practically.  Specifically… where and how would the heels retract?  Hmm.

  • Fun music clip – Aunt Sue’s Ant Soup

    After all the serious posts about geek stuff, I figured it was time to throw in a bit of levity again. So here’s a sample I’ve lovingly clipped from The Blender’s “Aunt Sue’s Ant Soup.”

    Here’s a bit about this song and the group behind it… plus — I know you’re craving this — the full lyrics I insanely transcribed in a fit of insomnia last night.

    The Blenders a cappella group – not to be confused with The Blenders of oldies fame — is a deliciously versatile, sometimes-wacky, always harmonious group that is just damn infectious.

    Sadly, on The Blenders’ own Web site (warning: music autoplays), they only feature clips from their Christmas tunes… fine enough in their own right, but their repetoire is so much deeper! 🙂

    Love a cappella… or curious and want to discover more from this genre? Check out these other links!
    Primarily a cappella: comprehensive catalog, nice folks!
    Contemporary A cappella Society: Amazingly deep and cool info.
    Another song by the Blenders (ack, I forgot I had already profiled this group… but oh well, too late to turn back now! I promise to highlight other a cappella groups soon 🙂
    A gorgeous tune sung by the amazingly talented Swingle Singers

    * * *

    And now, for the Aunt Sue’s Aunt Soup lyrics!

    Oh! Just realized…
    Today is the second Sunday of July.
    And that can only mean one thing:
    M’ family is expectin’ me for supper at Aunt Sue’s
    I love… she’s quite… a ding-a-ling

    {8 bar interlude}

    I wonder what concoction she’ll whip up for us. {throat clear}
    Maybe some furball stew.
    Nothing could compare to last year’s lovely little dish.
    When we all ate Aunt Sue’s Ant Soup. {scream}

    She’s got lots of charm.
    She’s drainin’ the ant farm.
    The neighborhood and sex {panting}
    Have plenty of reason to be alarmed.

    {Sung/chanted}
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s!

    {8 bars of Vocal Trumpet solo}

    The bride of the broth,
    The Queen of the crock,
    I ain’t foolin’ ya
    She loves that bouillon.
    Dad says that her mind is on vacation.

    She does it with taste.
    Nothing goes to waste.
    There’s critters and hair
    All over the place,

    Resulting in a lack of sanitation.

    {Spoken by father} Is that it?
    {Spoken by boy} No!
    {Spoken by father} Oh.

    {4 bars of trumpet solo}

    Today is the second Sunday of July,
    That can only mean one thing.
    Family’s expecting me for supper at Aunt Sue’s.
    I love… she’s quite… (a ding-a-ling)

    {Spoken by Aunt Sue} Have some more darling!

    She’s got lots of charm.
    She’s shakin’ the ant farm.
    The neighborhood and sex
    Have plenty of reason to be alarmed {panting} {spoken} you know what I mean?

    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!

    {Spoken by boy} Hey Aunt Sue, where’s your little dog Ginger?
    {Spoken by Aunt Sue} Oh, the little feller adds spice to every meal!

    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!

    {Spoken by boy} Hey Aunt Sue, where’s Uncle Stu?
    {Spoken by Aunt Sue} Oh, he’s cooking… something.

    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s! Ant soup!
    Aunt Sue’s!

    {Scratchy album vintage feel}
    She’s such a sweetie
    But… still kind of greasy
    She’s my… Aunt… Sue………. {soft chuckle}
    [breath]
    uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
    {/Scratchy}

    We really mean it.

    {Stripper feel}
    My… Aunt… Sue… Aunt… Sue
    [Big ending] Oh yeaaaaaahh
    {/stripper feel}

    {Rapidfire a cappella medley /}

    {goofy voice}
    That’s blendertaaaaaainment!
    {/goofy voice}

    * * *

    Edited Saturday, July 10, 2021 to add:
    – Updated clip embed… woo hoo!

    Edited at 4:24pm PST to add:
    Want to hear more of The Blenders?
    You can catch their stuff on the following online music networks:
    – iTunes Music Service, Napster, Rhapsody, lala – Lots of their tracks!
    – Yahoo Music Unlimited and Virgin Digital – A few of their tracks

    Edited on 12/23/05 to add:
    Thanks to my aca friend Tat Tong for deciphering the “little feller” line of the lyrics tonight 🙂

    Edited on 11/9/09:
    – Fixed some links
    – Made minor lyrics / content corrections

  • Helpful numbers to save in your phone!

    I invite you to go grab your cell phone / mobile phone / home phone whatever and program the following numbers into it:

    – 1-800-555-8355 (“555 TELL” — TellMe)
    – 1-800-373-3411 (“FREE 411” — Free411)
    – 1-888-392-7563 (“EZ ASK ME” — AskMeNow – Initial signup on site required)
    – 46645 (“GOOGL” – Google SMS beta – Google via Text Messaging)

    NOTE: One or more of these numbers may be U.S.-only… sorry 😐

    For details on each service, read on…

    TELLME
    I’ve been using this service for ages, and it’s really gotten me out of some tight jams!

    Via interactive voice menus, callers can easily get weather reports, serious and entertainment news, movie info, and much more. But the butt-saving features I’ve particularly appreciated are TAXI and DRIVING DIRECTIONS. The former will connect you (free of charge) with a local cab company, and the latter gives you step-by-step spoken driving directions between any two points in the U.S. (powered by “Microsoft MapPoint Technologies”)

    Supposedly, TellMe is ad-supported, but I have yet to hear any ads on the service.

    * * *

    FREE 411
    Tired of paying $1.25 and up to your greedy mobile or landline phone company for directory assistance? Then you’ll especially love Free 411! Not only does it find residential and business phone numbers for you, it also connects you free-of-charge (even to long distance numbers!) This service is apparently ad-supported (e.g., ask for Dominos Pizza, get a 15 second ad for a competing pizza place), but I’ve never heard any ads during the 3-4 times I’ve used this service.

    Voice recognition is pretty decent, but the one time I stumped it, I was transferred to a human operator who was able to promptly get me the number I requested.

    Frankly, though, I do wonder how sustainable this is. Will enough companies really pay to have folks redirected to them? If people are asking for Smith Window Washing services, will they really be so easily swayed towards a competitor? I have my doubts. But in the meantime, I’m happy to use this very convenient free 411 service!

    * * *

    ASK ME NOW

    Need to know the capital of Wisconsin? Or find the phone number of a particular Citibank branch? Sure, if you’re near an Internet-connected computer, you could probably quickly and easily find this info yourself. But what if you’re busy or not near a computer? Yes, I have a Web browser on my Treo phone, but it’s slow, the screen is small, and it’s generally just a miserable experience trying to navigate Web sites with it.

    Well, Ask Me Now is indeed a viable alternative. You call their number, leave a message, and 1-3 minutes later, you get back text messages with the right answer. Or at least AN answer. In my minimal testing, Ask Me Now gave me the right answer to “What is the Capital of Wisconsin?” but gave me the wrong answer to “What is the phone number of the Citibank branch located on Diamond Street in San Francisco?” The person (apparently located in the Philippines) who answered my query clearly just quickly googled for the answer and didn’t bother checking on Citibank’s Web site, since the correct answer is available in the latter, not the former.

    This service costs 49 cents per query, billed to your cell phone account. Supposedly you can get free ‘automated’ answers, but it’s not clear to me what qualifies as free and not-free, even after looking on the company’s Web site.

    * * *

    GOOGLE SMS
    Another option is Google’s SMS service. Text message GOOGL (46645) to get driving directions, movie showtimes, weather reports, price comparisons, and more.

    I’ve found this service to be both wonderous and frustrating. For instance, when I asked it [What is the capitol [sic] of wisconsin?] it replied back “Did you mean CAPITAL…” and gave me an appropriate Web page… when I would have preferred for it to actually include the answer, not just a link, in the reply. Additionally, when I asked it [Phone number for Citibank on Diamond St in San Francisco CA] it replied unhelpfully: “Looking for map of [query]? Unfortunately map information is not available through Google SMS.”

    I had better luck with other queries, such as [weather 91360] and [what is the population of belgium].

    * * *

    YAHOO SMS
    Despite multiple attempts, I could not get this service to work. I kept getting an “Invalid…” message, with instructions relating to Y! Messenger, after even using the exact queries listed on this page. Bummer. Any Yahoo people out there wanna help me figure out what’s going on here? I’ve heard good things about Yahoo’s mobile offerings and perhaps there’s just something small / obvious I’m missing?

  • WTF entry of the day: Government endorses cannibalistic plants!

    The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences has various “kids” lyrics pages… one of which has the lyrics and midi file for Little Shop of Horror’s “Suddenly Seymour” song [note: midi file plays when page is loaded].

    Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE this musical and quite like that specific song as well. But if someone can explain how this relates to environment or health or whatever, I’d love to hear it! 😀

  • A Frustrated Hottie, a Temporary Satan Worshipper, and an Apparent Nympho

    Just a little bit of lightness for this morning 🙂

    I’ve taken dance lessons from this one very talented instructor, and I was a bit taken aback upon noting that her nickname in dance forums is “Hottie.” Though she’s certainly quite blessed in the looks department, I found this to be a rather odd choice of nicknames… possibly even bordering on conceited.

    Then one day she explained it all to me.

    After moving from Oklahoma to St. Louis she found that some very important people — namely the folks who take pizza orders over the phone — were having a bit of trouble understanding her.

    PIZZA GUY: And your name, ma’am?
    HOTTIE: Haaaawdy.
    PIZZA GUY: Hottie?!
    HOTTIE: No! Haaaaahhhhhdy! H-E…
    PIZZA GUY: Um, yeah, okay, whatever. Be there in 30 minutes.

    It never failed. She’d get a pizza delivered to “Hottie,” not “Heidi” despite her valiant but misunderstood efforts to communicate her name with her endearing southern accent. And so, after much teasing from her pizza-sharing friends, the nickname stuck.

    * * *

    This one fellow — let’s call him Paul — is a rather tolerant and friendly guy as well as an outstanding scientist. But he was finally reaching the end of his patience after fending off a practically non-stop barrage of prosletyzing Jehovah Witnesses and similar folks knocking at his door. Apparently, “Thank you, but I’m not interested. Kindly don’t disturb me again” was simply not very efficacious.

    So Paul decided to follow the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” mantra… or at least join them over coffee. Therefore, in an attempt to finally talk some sense into the evolution-deniers, he invited the next pair of suit-clad bible-bringers into his living room and offered them some coffee. They chatted together amiably… and Paul felt he was making some headway. Then he got to the existence of fossils.

    “So how do you explain fossils?” he asked, with a twinkle in his eye. Ah, he had them now!

    “That’s easy” one of the guys responded quickly and with utter seriousness, “The Devil put them there to confuse us!”

    That’s when Paul realized it was all a moderately entertaining but ultimately hopeless waste of his time. But it wasn’t all for naught: he also got a brilliant idea!

    A week or two later, when yet another pair of Jehovah Witnesses came a knockin’, Paul was prepared. He answered the door, cackling the best evil and menacing laugh he could manage, and hissed: “Come on in! I’m a Saaaaatan Worshipper!”

    His girlfriend, just a few feet behind him, was initially shocked but upon seeing the petrified faces of the missionaries could barely keep from busting out laughing. The speed with which those two guys mounted their bikes and zoomed away can only be compared to something out of a Roadrunner cartoon. And lo and behold, it was nearly a year until a pair of their comrades dared to come knocking again.

    * * *

    I was telling this story to my friend Lana… a sweet, generally quiet woman. But, as her story bears out, sometimes it’s the meek ones you most have to watch out for!

    She, too, was having a similar problem with prosletyzers bugging her regularly, despite her polite requests to go away and not come back. The last time (and so far, indeed it HAS been the last time) a pair of them stopped by her place, she opened the door and invited them to come in and shower with her. Apparently, a fear of hot nekkid chicks is about as deeply ingrained as a fear of satan worshippers… and so those fellas high-tailed it out of there pretty lickety-split after turning ashen and stammering an “um… thank you… gotta go!!!”

    Of course, after telling me this story, Lana attempted to demurely backpedal a bit. She was, she insists, in a rush to head out to meet a friend and was just about to head into the shower when she heard a knock at the door. So apparently her FULL protestation was something along the lines of: “Aaaah! I’m really in a rush and… um… well, I’m about to take a shower.” The guys didn’t move. They’re trained, clearly, not to take excuses. Exasperated, Lana said the next thing that popped into her harried mind: “Fine, um, I guess you could come in and join me.” As noted above, THAT got them to move. Quickly.

    I asked her, of course, what she would have done had they accepted. That’s when she gave me this look that basically translates into “ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!” and so I grabbed my Bible, got on my bike, and pedaled away as fast as I could…

  • On life’s little surprises

    So I’m listening to Internet radio and, without noticing the current title playing, marveling at a rich and engaging orchestral piece I don’t recognize.

    Holy smokes… it’s from the first Pokemon movie?! Studio execs hired a decent full orchestra AND reasonably talented composer/arranger for THAT???

    Just goes to show you that, even in the most seemingly inconsequential of places, there are little and surprising joys to be found.