adamyntium

Category: grab bag

  • Three short tales of not speak English

    Something you can count on

    I managed to get up at 8am to go to the gym today.  This is impressive, because:
    – Today is Saturday.
    – I went to the gym yesterday.

    But that’s not really the story here.  Rather, we had a substitute teacher for our gym class who giggled in an adorable, Japanese-school-girl’ish way, and apologized for not speaking much English.  Continuing on in mildly broken English, she pleaded for us to just follow her and everything would be okay.

    Okay, then. But I soon realized that something wasn’t quite okay.

    Before long, it was clear that she had a pretty impressive and ready vocabulary for someone who “no speak much English.”  The only consistent FAIL part was her use, er, abuse of numbers.

    “Just four more!… Okay… Eight, Seven, Six…”

    “Last one!  Good!… Ten, nine…”

    By the end of class, I was convinced that her English was just fine.  Indeed, her masochistic promising of “almost done!” and “just one more!” was simply an oft used evil trick of gym trainers seeking to perversely motivate people, Peanuts style (“Of course I’m not going to move the football, Charlie Brown!”)

    *  *  *


    Checking out my German

    About a decade ago, I found myself living in Germany.  My entire German knowledge was squeezed in beforehand by a handful of one-hour German tutoring lessons and a “Learn German Today!” type book which I frantically eyeballed for the first 42 minutes of my flight to Germany before semi-dozing off.

    In due time I managed—out of intense personal interest and self-preservation concerns—to learn approximately 1,742 food words.  But other vocabularies were more difficult and more risky.  Therefore, when it was time for me to set up a checking account, I knew without a doubt that it was time to plead for English.

    In the Deutsche Bank in Mannheim, all in German (translated for your convenience)…
    Me: Good morning.  Do you speak English?
    Bank Frau, beaming mischievously: No, no I don’t.  But you speak good German!
    Me, getting both scared and frustrated:  Hmm.  Does anyone speak English here?
    Bank Frau:  No, only German.
    Young woman behind her, now also smiling broadly:  Correct, only German.  Speak German, please.

    I think I subsequently set the record for longest-time-to-set-up-checking-account.  Thankfully, I inexplicably escaped ending up with a home loan, a retirement account, seven different German Gov’t bonds, and a free t-shirt proclaiming “Ich Bin Ein Berliner.”

    *  *  *

    The brilliantly stupid Spanish teacher

    Back in junior high, when I struggling through Spanish class, my dad told me a little story about an old high school teacher of his, whom we’ll call Señor Gonzalez.  Señor Gonzalez apparently didn’t speak English.  ANY English. 

    “Lo siento, no hablo inglés.  Español, por favor.” y “Cómo? Cómo? No hablo inglés!”

    And, as you can imagine, this was both incomprehensible and maddening to my dad and his fellow first-year Spanish students.

    Bravely or masochistically, my dad stuck with this teacher for all four years of high school, improving his Spanish greatly.  The same linguistic improvement seemingly couldn’t be claimed by Señor Gonzalez, however; despite living in the heart of America for undoubtedly far more than my dad’s four years of high school, the stubborn Spaniard still spoke not a lick of English.

    Eager to take a break from his studies, my dad got tickets for the senior prom and arrived early to help set up.  As he began walking around to the back of the auditorium, he overheard Señor Gonzales quietly talking with the principal:

    “Yeah, looks like we’re gonna need some more punch and…”

    My dad stood at the door entrance, jaw dropped and staring in disbelief at the English-without-an-accent-Gonzalez.

    “Uh… uh… hola, Jerry!  Cómo estás?

    *  *  *

    Have you had any similar experiences?  Ever faked not speaking English (or another language) that you actually know?

  • How to pick an apartment (with the help of a damn cool Google Spreadsheet "wiki")

    I’m in apartment-hunting mode, and have amassed a set of criteria for my search that I thought you might benefit from… and be able to easily add to!

    With the new release of Google Docs and Spreadsheets (horrid name, super product), I can now do all sorts of cool stuff!  For instance, I’ve embedded the spreadsheet below for you to read… but I’ve also included links at the bottom for you to:

    • EDIT ONLINE:  Load up the spreadsheet online in edit mode!  Your changes will be reflected within five minutes on the document AND this page, so please be both thoughtful and nice (I can revert as necessary, of course).
    • EDIT OFFLINE:  Download the CSV and load it up in Excel or Excel imitator :-P.
    • VIEW: …as PDF, HTML, TXT, and in other formats as well.
    • SUBSCRIBE:… view Atom or RSS

    Pretty neat, eh?  And now, on with the show!

    • EDIT:  View and edit online (general Google Account required; add lines as needed by right-clicking cells and selecting INSERT… or you can highlight several rows and select INSERT [n] ROWS ABOVE/BELOW)
      Aw, bummer!  As described in the comments below, I hadn’t realized that the usernames (and, thus, gmail e-mail addresses) of collaborators would be listed in this doc, so I’m un-sharing the doc until and unless this no longer happens.  Thanks, Rockya, for the discovery.
    • DOWNLOAD / VIEW:  CSV, XLS (Excel format—new link for this entry), PDF, TXT, HTML, ODS
    • SUBSCRIBE (1st page): Atom, RSS

    I welcome your comments below…
    – On the actual criteria I’ve listed (or has been added)
    – On this use of Google Docs and Spreadsheets
    – On anything else related to this entry 😀

  • [Blippet] The Case of the Changed Chairs

    I work in a small office with three other Googlers.  That’s pretty typical around here; I don’t know of a single person that has their own office, though we’re always free to roam to a quieter place with our laptops and ubiquitous wireless access.

    It’s also a delightfully multicultural office:
    – One Croatian fellow.
    – One Chinese guy.
    – A Bulgarian guy.
    – And me, the boring American.

    We often will break up the day with little chats about cultural issues… food, linguistic confusion, traditions, etc.  Today, though, our heads-down work was interrupted when P came in, sat down, and looked a bit concerned.

    P:  Something is wrong with my chair.
    [silence]
    P:  Did someone change it?  Something’s off.
    Y: [taking notice]  Hmm… my chair’s kind of funny today, too.  Maybe someone took both our chairs?
    P:  It’s too low.  This is strange. [pauses, looks out the door of the office, as if to catch the chair thief / chair transmogrifier]
    Y:  Mine’s kinda high.  Doesn’t feel right.
    Me: [finally paying attention] Um, guys.  Maybe you just got each other’s chair?
    [P looks at Y.  Y looks at P.  They swap chairs.]
    [contented brief silence]
    Y: Ah, mine’s the black one.  That’s right!
    P: Yeah, that’s better!
    [shaking head]

  • Looks like I got a case of the Mondays. But why?

    Today is a bad day.  A particularly consistent bad day.  Not an awful day, mind you, but just bad enough to be laughably annoying.  And this got me to thinking…

    Why is it that bad luck seems to come in strings… chains… in groups… whatever?

    My example today:

    • Had bathroom conflicts with roomie and her guest.
    • Left in a hurry, forgot both cell phone and Google security card.
    • Shuttle on the way to work was cramped, couldn’t work effectively on laptop.
    • Due to bridge being damaged *and* another accident, I was late to work and had to push back a 10am meeting.
    • Pulling laptop out of backpack at work, I accidentally broke off the antenna on my broadband wireless card.
    • Allergies are acting up.  Blech :(.
    • There were no communal coffee mugs left this morning.
    • In a rush to grab my coffee-comfort (thank goodness for paper cups!), I spilled coffee grounds on myself.

    Okay, so none of that is earth shattering.  My dog didn’t die, my wife didn’t run away with my pickup truck and shotgun, and I didn’t get beer spilled on me (admittedly, not having a dog, a wife, a pickup truck, a shotgun, or an affinity for beer makes this example somewhat inapt, but no matter).  Anyway, it’s still enough even-minorly-bad-stuff in a row (and by noon!) to make one wonder…

    What is it about Mondays that causes so much misery?  Why do so many bad things seem to happen in a row?

    Perception
    Maybe we’re made cranky by the first bad thing, and thus are more attuned to subsequent annoyances.  Or, we subconsciously / culturally correlate Mondays with Trouble in our mind, and thus when bad things happen, this perception is simply reinforced.

    Causation
    Unpleasant incidences tend to directly cause other icky happenings (e.g., being late in the morning causes you to rush and be less careful and attentive, thus leading to forgetting important objects or procedures and/or causing you to move carelessly and stub various body parts).  Or unhappy moments make one more stressed or preoccupied in such a way as to be mentally or physically unprepared for typical challenges and obstacles, thus causing subsequent mishaps.

    Any other theories?
    And how is your Monday going so far?

  • Getting hired by Google

    I recently noticed that a fellow Googler posted some thoughtful tips about interviewing at Google, and — now that I’m a bit more comfortable blogging about Work — I figured I’d contribute to the conversation a bit by offering my own, unofficial tips.

    Note the unofficial part. I work in Search Quality; aside from occasionally being asked to interview candidates (like most Googlers) — I have nothing to do with our recruiting, recruiters, etc., nor do I pretend to speak for the HR folks. The stuff below is based on my own observations and opinions.

    * * *

    Application and interview tips
    Broadly: be interesting, be humble, demonstrate outstanding competence in your direct area, briefly highlight your well-roundedness (academically, workwise, and personally), and clarify how you are an excellent
    fit with both the position you’re applying for and Google overall.

    Admittedly, with an insane number of applications a year, it is a bit of a numbers game.  Some outstanding people get rejected.  And, though I haven’t witnessed this personally, I’m sure some jerks get offers.  Luckily, Google’s been overhauling its hiring processes, and I’m optimistic that particularly the percentage of great people getting overlooked (in relation to the number of apps) will decrease.

    Some specific tips and notes:

    • Write a decent cover letter

      • Write with a tone that’s professional yet warm… not stiff or dry.  Your (discernible) voice should come through.
      • Keep it to one page (max!) or less.  Maybe even a lot less.
      • Convince Google of the fits described above — that’s critical!!!
    • Your resume can be in PDF, Word, HTML, or text formats (unless otherwise requested, of course!)

      • But note that it will be ultimately printed out.  This means that reasonable pagination can be helpful and also suggests that a comprehensive 20 page document is perhaps not a great idea.  When you want your recruiter and interviewers to know more about your background & interests, links are your friends. 

    • Respectful persistence can be appropriate

      • If you genuinely have another offer on the table, let your recruiter know! If the recruiter promised to get back with you in [x] days, and in [x+1 or x+2] days you haven’t heard back, politely e-mail them.
    • If you have a friend at Google who can articulately and sincerely vouch for you, that can work in your favor.

      • Your association / relationship with that person matters.  They’ll be asked how they know you and how well they know you (and your skills).
    • Passion matters and is skillfully perceived.  You’re probably wasting your time unless you really are
      excited about a particular position.
    • Getting turned down for one Google position does not mean you’re ineligible to apply for another position down the road.
    • General interview advice that probably applies for pretty much any company:

      • Ask thoughtful questions.
      • Allow time for traffic and parking and finding the right building. Google — at least the Mountain View campus — is a big place!
      • Dress one or two steps better than you expect your interviewers to be.  Less than that, and people may wonder about your judgment. More than that, and people may think you’re clueless or arrogant.

        • The “right” dress at Google probably varies by department. Engineering folks tend to be more informally dressed than sales folks.  If you’re interviewing for a senior management position, I’d probably dress a bit more formally than you would for an intern interview.  But the official advice also really makes sense here:  dress comfortably.  If you feel comfortable and confident, it’ll show.
      • Get a good night’s sleep the two nights before.  Sleep deficits are cumulative.  If you have a
        morning interview, make sure you’re getting up early the two or three mornings before to get yourself ready to be mentally and physically alert during your interview time.  On a similar health note, drink and eat smartly the day of your interview.  Hunger pangs are distracting.
      • Invest in a good pen to take to interviews.  The heft and reliability can be a real-even-if-small confidence booster.  Taking occasional notes can help you remember info or questions for later, and also might indicate a sense of thoughtfulness and interest to your interviewer.
      • On the whole, think of interviews kind of like first dates.  You don’t want to do all or even most of the talking.  You’re there to impress, to learn, to help determine whether there’s a good potential for a relationship.  First impressions are important.  Show you are caring and thoughtful by asking good questions.  Avoid having spinach in your teeth (floss beforehand!).

    Possibly-little-known factoid:

    No Googler — not even Larry or Sergey — can singlehandedly extend an employment offer to anyone.  While candidates don’t have to go through as many interviews nowadays, most candidates — regardless of level — typically interview with quite a few peers; team-fit is critical!

    * * *

    I expect to offer some more Google-thoughts in the future, but — as a reminder — this is my personal blog, and as such, I expect to generally blather on about anything I feel like discussing, ranting, dissecting, punning, lamenting, etc… which is more likely than not to be boring to the impatient sort.

    Oh, and one last thing: please keep comments on-topic as a courtesy not only to me, but to the cool folks reading my blog. Thanks!

    * * *

    Related entries:
    – A blunt note to HR folks and interviewers
    – How to evaluate your current job & career… and thoughtfully consider future options

    and lastly, for a blast-from-the-past… some perspective & a bit of cranky ranting…

    – What do you do? (self = job?) And how are you?

  • Natural energy boosters guaranteed to kick your ass (in a good way)

    I guarantee* that the following all-natural AdamSpecial (“CafeKeek” in honor of my now-undoubtedly-horrified French friends) will put a pep in your step, will put the mmmmm in mooove, will take the ache out of awake…

    Required…
    1) Coffee beans + grinder (ideal) OR not-terribly-fine-ground coffee (okay) OR instant coffee (will do in a pinch; can ignore French press/strainer instructions)
    2) Milk (ideally non-fat, optionally low-fat) OR milk substitute that can be heated/drunk hot or warm
    3) French press OR extra container + a strainer
    4) Teaspoon
    5) and – unless you don’t like sweet stuff—one of the following Adam-named add-ins
    – “Plain Sweetie”:  Sugar—one to two teaspoons per cup of milk.
    – “Chocolate Jesus”:  Pure unsweetened cocoa powder and sugar (one teaspoon each per cup of milk) OR pre-sweetened chocolate syrup / cocoa powder (Nestle Quik does not count!)
    – “Cuckoo du mint”:  The Jesus ingredients above + three drops pure mint extract per cup of milk OR Trader Joe’s mint cocoa powder

    Instructions for making CafeKeek…
    1) Boil milk OR heat milk in microwave (ideally use a microwavable measuring cup or similar item for easy pouring)
    2a) Got a French press?  Put in the ground coffee but not other ingredients.
    2b) Using a strainer?  Add ground coffee to intermediate container (that you can easily pour from into your drinking cup)
    3) Pour hot milk into either French press or intermediate container.  Wait 5 minutes.
    4) Pour coffee-soaked hot milk into drinking container (using strainer if you didn’t use a French press)
    5) Add optional other ingredients and stir with teaspoon.
    6) Enjoy, then come back here and write a comment about how much you loved it and how you’re eternally grateful to me and so on.
    7) Repeat, but probably not on the same day.

    Strongly recommended in conjuction with CafeKeek…
    – Protein—either a handful of nuts or some peanut butter on a cracker, etc.
    – Potassium—a banana works great (half of one is fine)
    – Exercise—no time for a real workout?  Prefix the incomparable CafeKeek with 18 jumping jacks or 18 seconds of jump-roping or anything else to quickly get your heart pumping.  I’m serious about this… it really helps!

    *  *  *

    Okay, now it’s your turn.  What natural foods / practices do you use to help wake you up? (so, yeah, those energy drinks with unpronounceable ingredients don’t qualify here)

    *Guaranteed satisfaction, or your pro-rated BLADAM subscription fees reimbursed!

  • Luck, girls, flies, truffles, tall people, and 100 BILLION dollars

    I’ve been duly inspired by my friend Graham.  And given that I’m too lazy / cautious / tired to do a deep and meaningful and original blog entry this evening, I’ve decided to instead just share a few thoughts about the search phrases people have used to get to my humble BLADAM 2.0 site over the last 3 days.  Each phrase is linked to the entry on my blog that the searcher clicked through to (providing a fulfilling-but-sometimes-scary-bladam-blast-from-the-past!)

    First, the odd but undoubtedly heartfelt declaration:

         i have bad luck

    I’m sorry, fella.  I’m not quite sure what sort of solace or answers you were seeking in this grand set of clogged tubes, but luckily another BLADAM visitor feels your pain and offers this advice:


         dont feel sad about bad luck

    Well, there you have it!  Now we just need Bobby McFerrin to pop by and it’ll all be hunky dory.

    Oh, and speaking of heartfelt, I had a few zillion folks visiting here searching for advice about girls (specifically, how to win them over and settle down happy ever after, or at least see them naked).  Faithful readers… let me just be straight with you up front here:  you’re asking the wrong guy, and you’re definitely browsing the wrong blog.  Do I look like Oprah to you?  [hint: the answer to that should be NO.]

    So, without further ado, here are the lovestruck searchers:

         how do i talk to the girl i like after telling her i like her

    Very carefully.  And potentially from a great distance if she or her boyfriend are armed, dangerous, and/or jealous.


         how do i impress a girl who likes me and i like her

    Dude, get a grip.  You like her.  She likes you.  What’s with this impressing crap?  Get off the computer and go have some fun!

         how to impress a girl when we dont know her

    Uh… there’s more than one of you?  I dunno about this group impressing concept.  “Okay, Jake, now it’s your turn!  Here, I’ll throw you the ukulele and unicycle!”  Personally, I’d lean towards the one-guy-per-girl sort of thing (unless you’re in the Bay Area and then, hey, as long as no one gets hurt…).  What’s that?  Oh… my lawyers have insisted that I add this disclaimer:  if you do try to woo her with a unicycle, use a helmet, please.  And a slotted spoon for catching the potato. (I have weird lawyers).

    *  *  *

    And now we veer into slightly less romantic territory.

         flies in my apartment

    That’s nothing.  I have bats in my belfry AND I’m going bananas!  Anyway, just go to the store to get some flypaper and then call your landlord.  No… don’t call him that!  You can catch more flies with honey…

    And speaking of sweet (oooo… love these transitions!  Adam, were you once a newspaper editor?  Why, yes I was!)…


         calories in moonstruck truffles

    Okay, let me be politically incorrect for a moment.
    – Similar to the how-much-does-that-necklace-in-the-window-cost rule:  If you have to ask, you can’t afford to eat it.
    – No, there aren’t low fat / low cal truffles.
    – Even if there were, they’d be an affront to dog and man.
    – And lastly, yes, you have a big butt, I cannot lie.

    For those who CAN afford anything they ask about…


         what 100 billion dollars can buy

    Whoa… er, hi, Bill!  A pleasure to have you visiting my blog!  I’m delighted to answer your question (what, Clippy was unavailable?)
    100 billion dollars can cover…
    – A very large portion of my student loans.
    – A brain transplant for a good many members of the U.S. Congress, particularly Ted Stevens.
    – And… oh, wait, I guess that’ll pretty much use up the 100b.  Still, they’re both such worthy causes!

    And finally… for those who don’t have 100 billion to spend on fancy gym equipment, there’s the following:


         work outs for tall people

    Certainly, that’s an easy one.  Lift short people.

    *  *  *

    Thank you, come again!

  • Top 8 things to do before (and after) you stupidly lose your wallet

    A few days ago, I lost my wallet.  Understandably, I was pretty bummed… but I was also grateful that I had taken some steps ahead of time to minimize the damage.  So, without further ado, let me share with you some suggestions so you, too, can suffer less when you stupidly lose your wallet.

    1. Don’t keep more than what’s necessary in your wallet.
    This is the easiest way to avoid headaches.  You may have 10 credit cards, gas cards, etc., but how many do you really need to use on a daily basis?  Putting less in your wallet not only means less hassle when it’s is lost, but also less heft that you have to sit on (if you’re a guy) or carry (if you’re a woman, or a guy who doesn’t like to put his wallet somewhere other than his back pants pocket).

    2. If you do keep gift cards / stored value cards on your wallet, make sure they’re registered!
    Addicted to Starbucks and got a Starbucks card, for instance?  Make sure it—and all your other stored value cards—are appropriately registered so that when they’re lost, you don’t lose the money on the cards.


    3. Start a document or note that you can access electronically where you can put critical wallet-related info… ideally something that also syncs with your phone.
    You should write down what’s in your wallet and be able to access it from nearly anywhere.  You could use Google Docs or Google Notebook or even a (very, very secure, password protected) file on your Web server or file server.  Here’s what I do:  I have an “In my wallet” Outlook note that I update regularly.  I use Plaxo to reliably sync my Outlook notes between home, work, and laptop computers, and then I use my Treo’s software to regularly place that same info on my phone.  I don’t put credit card numbers or similarly private info in this note, however, since it’s possible my phone could get stolen, and I haven’t gotten around to passwording it yet.  I store that more detailed info on a file on a network drive.


    4. Actually update this document.
    Yes, you actually have to remember to update this document (or these documents) regularly.  Given how often I’m putting things in and out of my wallet (particularly since I travel internationally), this is more important than you might think.


    5. Keep an emergency stash of cash at home and at work.
    It’s amazing what a nice buffer of $60 will offer when you just need some cash to tide you over for dinner, or get you into a club to meet friends, etc.


    6. Separately store a passport (and a photocopy of your passport).  Put a scanned copy in a secure location online and tell your family/best friends how to access it.
    This is particularly helpful if you find your wallet AND passport stolen sometime, especially if you’re overseas somewhere like, say, Estonia (trust me, I speak from experience on this one!)


    7. Make sure the info in your wallet includes your full name and phone number.
    That’s important for obvious reasons.  Sure, some folks’ll say “don’t include identifying info!” but frankly, I’m more eager to get my wallet back than I am to prevent identify theft (which, IMHO, is a lot more likely via other means and from folks other than your standard pickpocket jerk).


    8. Do some checks but don’t panic.
    Before you start canceling all your credit cards:
    – Check and recheck (and potentially call) obvious and non-obvious locations where you may have dropped, left, or otherwise abandoned your poor wallet.
    – Look online right away to see if there’ve been any suspicious charges.
    – If you have a debit card, I actually WOULD cancel that right away, since—as I understand it—you don’t have the same sort of protections on that kind of card as you do on regular credit cards.
    – On the rest of your stuff, unless it contains info or access-rights that’d be treacherous to your well-being or others’, I’d sleep on it overnight.  I think you have something like 24-72 hours to contact your credit card companies before you’re held liable for fraudulent charges.  Why stress yourself out with extra work unnecessarily if you don’t have to?

    Especially when, in my case, you discover your wallet inexplicably cowering under your bed and not really “lost” at all ;-).

  • Blippet: [Video] Avenue Q + Fiddler on the Roof — oy vey, so gay!

    Love Avenue Q?  Appreciate Jewish humor?
    Watch what happens when the cast of Avenue Q mashes up with the cast of Fiddler on the Roof!

    P.S.—I’d like to hat-tip a fellow blogger, but I can’t remember exactly where I first saw this (I just re-found it via a YouTube search).  Much apologies.  Next time, I’ll be more careful about blogtribution.

  • I’m staking a claim to Web 4.0!

    Okay, I admit it.  I missed the boat and jealously hollered that naming anything Web 2.0 is a bunch of crap.  So more recently I thought, hey, that’s no problem, I’ll just glom onto Web 3.0, the semantic Web.  I mean, look, I have lots of nice Jewish programmer friends, so who am I to be anti-semantic?!

    But dammit, then I discovered that Nicholas Carr has already laid claim to Web 3.0!  The bastard!

    Never fear, dear BLADAM readers… I have the solution!  I am hereby claiming as my own Web 4.0… with t-shirts and stickers, special edges, an expensive conference, and a network of blogs.

    Yes, yes, I hear your skepticism already:  So, Adam-you-total-killjoy-smartass, pray tell us… what exactly is Web 4.0?  Well, I thought you’d never ask!  Allow me to explain this scintillating new Web with crystal clarity.

    Web 4.0 involves two-way individually-aggregated communal infocommerce predicated upon the six human senses!  Sure, smell-o-vision may have crashed and burned, fine, maybe that tactile mouse thing never took off… but all of it combined?  And tied to the Web?  Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be big.

    SMELL the Web.  FEEL the Web.  TASTE the Web (actually, this part includes just LICK until 4.1, but that’s a mere troublesome tribble).  Imagine a wackypedia entry with which you can SMELL Detroit!  Imagine your favorite mapping service applied tactilely to 

    Pamela Anderson’s cleavage

     academically enlightening geodesic dome models… collaboratively, in real time!

    But I’m not stopping there.  I’m also trademarking the following:
    – Television 4.0 (2.0 clicked with the remote)
    – Medicine 4.0 (Viagra lifted it up to 2.0)
    – Philosophy 4.0 (Exiting the cave was 2.0)
    – Air travel 4.0 (Southwest is 2.0!)
    – The Law 4.0 (The McDonald’s Coffee heated things up to 2.0)

    and

    …wait a minute? What’s that you say?  We never really did refer to any of these things as 2.0?  No one has ever blathered on about whether Jet Blue qualifies as part of Air travel 2.0?  Or whether a doctor is adhering to Medicine 2.0 principles? (maybe if he has—snort—well-rounded edges and listens to his patients?).  Hmm… how about “My new Sony is so Television 2.0!”  No?  It just sounds silly and goofily arbitrary?

    No matter!  If my 4.0 schwag is really hip and if I can get enough bloggers to BlogOn!(tm), we can make this a true movement with all 0.0000037% of the world’s citizens who are also nomenclature-obsessed-geeks.  Our numbers may be small, but we’re powerful… just look at our Alexa graph, babeeee!  You dare compete with that? 😉