I’m sorry I strayed. AdSense may not be the sexiest CAS (contextual advertising service) in the bunch, and occasionally she’s a bit stubborn, unpredictable, and even cheap… but she’s a lot better overall than my most recent fling.
I had heard so many great things about the mistress I recently shacked up with. Miss Yahoo was apparently far more generous, and she sure put out a lot more (cash) than AdSense did for a bunch of my blogger friends. And hey, though she initially played hard to get, once I had her, she was an easy lay(out job). I mean, with her live previews, I was even able to see what I was gonna get from her before I took her out on the town on my blog. Not only that, she came bundled with some pretty snazzy accessories, including handy RSS, Y! Maps, and Y!Q stuff.
* * *
At first, I thought she was a clever free thinker.
I read her a story about Song airlines.
“Vonage” she cooed back at me. How creative, I marveled… she knows that the airlines are looking to expand telephony options… and that some e-jetsetters may be able to use voice-over-IP services while flying to communicate with landlocked buddies.
Then I read her a story about a recent theatre production I saw.
“Vonage” she whispered back, coyly. Hmm. I was admittedly puzzled. I mean, you’re really not supposed to have phone conversations while watching musicals!
I tried reading her a few other stories. And while she’d occasionally offer a minor new tidbit, she always managed to say something about Vonage.
* * *
The relationship was already getting stale. I invited some friends over for a blog reading and said, initially with pride, meet my new mate, Miss Yahoo P.N. But she just stared dully ahead and muttered “Vonage.”
My friends were brutally honest with me when they took me aside. “Um, Adam” they insisted, politely but firmly, “She’s not exactly the sharpest tool in the e-shed.”
“She’s still young!” I protested, “She’ll learn! She’s not even out of beta school yet!”
From around the corner, I heard again “Vonage. Vonage. Vonage.”
* * *
It was about then that I realized that even though my old blogfriend AdSense was a bit miserly, at least she wasn’t a moron and I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with her in public.
“Vonage. Vonage Vonage. Vonage, Vonage. Mortgages vonage. Vonage your mortgage. Vonage Vonagevonagevonagevon…”
“Yahoo. YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!” I yodeled in frustration, trying to get her attention. “I think we should see other people. Or rather, you should see other blogs.”
I opened the door… pointed to the great beyond, and Yahoo was but a distant memory.
Then I called up AdSense. And like an annoyed and proud but still subtlely loyal cat, she returned.
AdSense, I’m really sorry. Welcome back!