adamyntium

Category: society

  • Help me raise money for music-in-schools!

    Hey there,

    I’m passionate about music, and I bet you are, too.  I’m even more excited about giving kids the opportunity to have their lives enriched through music… especially disadvantaged kids who so desperately need beauty, discipline, and ART in their lives!

    I just learned today that one of my all-time favorite music sites, Pandora, is teaming up with the fine philanthropic organization, GlobalGiving, to support non-profits in the area of music-for-kids.  Pandora’s even giving free posters to anyone who donates $10 or more (while supplies last).

    Here’s how you can get your donation TRIPLED or even QUADRUPLED!:
    1) Visit this information page from Pandora.
    2) Donate some money to any of the three organizations listed.
    3) Let me know about your donation (organization and amount), either via a comment on this entry, on this Friendfeed thread, or via e-mail (to adam at the domain lasnik.net).
    4) Check with your employer to see if they offer donation matching!

    I will personally donate a minimum of $50, and up to $250 of my own cash, depending on how much you BLADAM readers donate 😀
    In other words, if those of you posting a reply here (or in my e-mail) donate $250, I’ll then donate $250.  And my employer, Google, will match that.  And perhaps your employer will match your contribution, too… making our collective donation in this case between $750 and $1000!


    I’ll be making my donation this coming Monday evening, so get your donations in now!
      I’ve extended the deadline until Tuesday, Oct 13, 10pm PST

    Let’s shoot for $1,000 together… or even more!

    P.S.—If any other folks want to also contribute matching funds as part of this, post a comment here and I’ll add your name and offer below.  Let’s see this effort snowball!

    *  *  *

    Contributions so far:
    – Wysz: $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100
    – Jen: $10
    – Char: $50 (+ her employer matching)—$100
    – Jason: $50 (Jason’s employer may also match)
    – Katie: $10
    – Valerie: $50
    – Greg: $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100
    – Edythe: $? (amount of donation unknown)
    – Adam: $250 (+ my employer matching)—$500
    – Tiffany: $50 (+ her employer matching)—$100

    SUBTOTAL: $1,020

    BUT WAIT… Greg offered to throw in more money if the pool reached $1,000!

    – Greg: another $50 (+ his employer matching)—$100

    TOTAL:  $1,120.  WE ROCK! 😀

  • Two Brazil short stories – The Galloping Vendors and the Patient Kindness of Strangers

    The Galloping Vendors

    There had just been again weeks of violent unrest in the world, but I was quite a few countries away, together in a sprawling São Paulo street market with a colleague and our big happy-but-guarded driver.  The three of us were amiably ambling amidst a big, colorful, confusing, and crowded set of not-quite-straight rows on uneven pavement and outdoor shops and inside shops and coconuts with straws and colorful scarves.  And music CDs and sunglasses and an amusing, sometimes perplexing mishmash of electronic items.  Much of this, if not most, of dubious officialness. 

    The majority of these items were sitting on wood planks, next to which sat oft squat, loud, tanned, tired yet eager vendors.

    By the hour next, some of these sellers looked vaguely uncomfortable, nervous.  The storm clouds were coming, rain was imminent, and there was palpably a rolling sense of unease.

    Fidgeting, bustling, clamoring, much more than before.

    Then yelling and a pounding of feet and a thrusting forward of seemingly thousands of people, many of them with those same wooden planks bobbing precariously as the crowd shovingly stumbled, then broke into a run.  It looked at times as if they were almost falling forward, haphazardly heading fast away.

    At the same time, fast towards… towards speeding police cars zipping and blaring through the streets, seemingly without regard to the vendors, their wares, or the people buying them.

    “INSIDE! GO INSIDE!” shouted our driver.  “NOW!!!”

    I wasn’t quite sure which inside he meant, which side of the street.  I was equally unsure of what was happening.  Had there been an explosion?

    But I didn’t ponder sitting still.  I ran as well as I could, dodging it all, ducking thankfully into the same store as my colleague and our driver who could hopefully protect and explain.

    *  *  *

    We were okay.  The crowd passed, the sirens faded into the distance.

    Our driver chuckled softly.

    “I’m sorry for the situation.”

    A raid.  The vendors had not paid the proper taxes.

    “I’ve only seen this on the TV.  Never happened to me.  But what an experience, eh?  What a situation!”

    He shook his head a bit as we searched for our car.  He told me to not take any more pictures, that it was not a good idea, though after the running-of-the-vendors we’d just survived without impalement, I doubted a few additional photos would contribute measurably to any future danger but I complied nonetheless.  And I thought, I’m glad I wore those ugly strong American sneakers.

    “I’m sorry” he said again.  But it was all okay.  The added color was scary but memorable and worthwhile.  I smiled, knowing that my time in Brazil was just beginning and that I was ready.

    A view of the marketplace before the storm (See more of my São Paulo gallery)
    ————————————————————

    The patient kindness of strangers

    Maria and I wanted to go to Sugarloaf Mountain but didn’t quite know how.  We made it to the city center by bus, just as we had the days before, but then were a bit stymied.  This second bus didn’t seem to be where Cornelius had, admittedly tenuously, thought it would be, said it would be.  We waited and walked and then—abandoning any pretense of stubbornness or shyness—began to ask around.

    One person sent us to another to another, all in a friendly way.  Until we got to the one woman whose name we never got.  Perhaps she said it, since she said a lot, quite a lot.  When it became quite clear that our limited Spanish and her limited Spanish were not going to mesh productively, she decided upon the show-and-tell method.  She herded us to a spot which was noticeably not very near the spots we had spotted before, and then she waited with us.

    Waited and talked and talked, pretty much all in Portuguese.  Neither Maria nor I speak Portuguese, and I think the woman knew that, but she spoke on rapidly and happily and pointedly despite that unfortunate but apparently-not-show-stopping linguistic gap.  Every once in a while she’d pause, and we’d continue to nod, and she’d carry on, obviously as pleased to be with us as we were befuddled-yet-grateful to be with her.

    *  *  *

    Twenty minutes and many words and smiles and nods later, the right bus came to take us to Sugarloaf Mountain.  We clasped each others hands, I think maybe even hugged, just as we did with the majority of Brazilians we had the distinct pleasure of meeting, and then waved goodbye while speaking the only Brazilian we knew: Obrigado.

    A view from Sugarloaf Mountain (See other photos I took in Rio)

  • Tipping online — Stupid or brilliant or both?

    Have you heard about TipJoy and the still-very-small phenomena of tipping (real money) on the web?

    It’s quite fascinating, in my opinion, and I certainly have very mixed feelings on this issue.

    PLUSES:

    • I admire how the founder gets “out there” to talk about his service… but not only about his service. 
    • I think there’s a true need to reward outstanding authors/contributors on the web with real money, and I think tipping is better than huge ad clutter / massively off-topic ads.
    • In particular, I love the idea of tipping in the context of supporting artists and art online.  Give me great MP3s, and then give me a culture in which MANY of us offer tips… even $2-7/album, which’d be WAY more than the artist would normally get via CDs or iTunes, etc.
    • TipJoy is pretty easy to use.
    • The fees seem reasonable.

    MINUSES:

    • I hate tipping as an institution overall, at least in the “real” world.  Hate hate hate it!  Why shouldn’t people just be paid a decent living wage? By extension, then, one could argue… why shouldn’t bloggers and artists online just be able to charge an honest fee for their work?  The answer, of course, is that too many of us are freetards, if you’ll forgive the nickname I’ve stolen from Fake Steve Jobs.  We expect, no, we DEMAND content / entertainment / information for free.  Frankly, that in itself seems horribly messed up, but I digress.
    • TipJoy, and indeed, tipping on the web on the whole hasn’t gotten anywhere near the—no pun intended—tipping point.  People aren’t gonna tip unless they see many other people tipping.  So it makes me feel, sheesh, does my 10cent tip mean anything at all?  The fact that TipJoy now offers tippers the option to broadcast their donations is a step in the right direction (Friendfeed does this as well), but it’s nonetheless a small step.
    • It’s still not seamless.  With TipJoy—one of the more fluid / well-set-up services, IMHO—you still have to sign up for an account, fund the account… and to fund it, you still have to use (at least for now) the evil PayPal.  Blech 🙁

    *  *  *

    Don’t just read, do!  Give it a try 😀
    Clicking the button at the bottom of this post will establish for you sort of an “IOU” of, well, 20 cents (TipJoy will, I believe, ask you to pay up via PayPal when you’ve tipped a total of $5 around the web).

    What do you think?
    Anyway, even more than your donations, I look forward to hearing your thoughts about not only TipJoy, but also the idea of tipping on the web.  Do you think it will ever become popular?  If so, what will need to happen in order to make it an oft-used part of the web economy?

  • Where the hell is Matt? — Huge smiles guaranteed!

    Today’s entry is short and wonderful.  Behold, in the video below, Matt Harding… “dancing” around the world, one city at a time.  At the 54 second mark, watch the video really come alive when he delights countless locales who join in the dancing… and, i guarantee, charms all of you watching, too :-D.

    For more information, see www.wherethehellismatt.com.
    Also, you really really must see his other videos (linked under his name).

    Edited on June 23 to add: Thank you to Bee for pointing out my URL typo! Now fixed 😀

  • Bureaucratic snafu snags Catholic Priest and leaves me wondering: what’s my role?

    A friend of mine just let me know of a frustrating and seemingly unfair issue in his neck of the woods:  A popular and much-loved priest in South Dakota is apparently about to be deported due to what seems to be a pretty lame bureaucratic snafu (pemanent residency application accepted but later lost/misplaced).  An advocacy site is here: HelpFather.

    But nothing is quite as simple or as black-and-white as it seems, of course, at least in my mind 🙂

    Here are reasons why I was tempted not to post this on my blog:
    – I’m agnostic, and am not a fan of Catholic doctrine / influence / etc.
    – This matter’s already gotten press.  What more could my humble blog do?
    – Speaking of my humble blog, and selfishly for a moment, would my readers really care about this somewhat-local-oriented issue at all?
    – This guy’s a priest.  Can’t he just pray for this to get fixed?  If that’s ineffective, maybe it’s God’s will for him to return to Ireland?
    – There are always at least two sides to every issue.  Can we trust that the folks advocating on behalf of this priest are telling the whole story?

    And reasons why I ultimately posted this:
    – A favor to my friend 🙂
    – Someone’s gotta help the little guy.  And this one seems like a nice fella, mired in an uncaring and often-crappy bureaucracy.
    – I do have some power as a blogger.  Perhaps by helping get this guy’s predicament known outside of South Dakota I—and my readers—could make a difference.
    – Sometimes it’s the little things in life that matter.  Is this guy really important in the grand scheme of things?  Maybe not.  But he means a lot to my friend and my friend’s family.  Lots of small things, “small people”… they all add up, all contribute to the richness of communities, to our planet.
    – And, let’s be honest here… I bet people are more interested in this story than in my swinger blatherings, no? 😛 (hmm… I’m combining a priest-related posting with a swinger reference; it’s a good thing I am agnostic, or I’d be going to hell :D).

    *  *  *

    What about you?

    What do you think of this priest’s situation? Of me posting this on my blog?

  • Free hugs and the beauty of human touch

    I just learned from BLADAM member Flathead in the Netherlands that there’s a worldwide movement involving Free Hugs.  I just watched a few snippets, and this just totally made my day! 😀

    It also brings to mind some thoughts I shared in an early blog entry (”Non-sexual Healin’” )

    […] It was then that I realized how much the whole concept of touch means to me and likely many of my Lindy Hop crazy friends. There’s such a comfort and warmth in—if you’ll forgive the modified Moulin Rouge reference—holding someone and being held in return.

    At least in my case (and I suspect, for most others as well), this is all not really about sex or even necessarily flirting. As a heterosexual fella, I still enjoy hugging my friends regardless of their gender, and I likewise appreciate being a follower in Lindy Hop, even with guys.

    Sure, there’s sometimes an underlying sensuality in dancing, especially when blues-dancing with someone you are attracted to from the way they look or the way they dance, and so on. But I still think that the overall non-sexual pleasure of touch is one of the leading factors that contributes to folks’ joy in dancing, and this also highlights just how much closeness our American society often lacks.

    In much of Europe and Latin America, for instance, there seems to be less perceived overlap between friendly touching and sexual overtures, and I really like and respect that. When I lived in Europe, I found that I was encouraged to give and receive friendly hugs or even snuggle with others without ulterior motives or expectations.

    Anyway, thanks, Flathead, for the neat link and good feelings :-D.

  • Provincial half-wits okay, but no Goddamned atheists!

    In the marvelous The Week magazine (March 2007 edition quoting a USA Today / Gallup poll), it was disclosed that 53% of Americans wouldn’t vote for an atheist for U.S. President (and, unsurprisingly but just as sadly, 43% said they wouldn’t vote for a homosexual, either).  Barring a horribly worded poll question—which, I concede, isn’t out of the question—I’m guessing the real percentage of Americans who are prejudiced against atheists is even higher; assuming the poll was done by phone or in person, I can imagine some people thinking to themselves “Well, darned if I’d ever support one of them goin’-to-hell types, but I gotta sound enlightened here and not admit it!”

    You know, I don’t care what people believe in: the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Boogie Man, or—my personal favorite and Savior—The Flying Spaghetti Monster… nor do I care whom they sleep with (men, women, or even The Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself, though I admit that could get messy), as long as no one gets hurt.  For instance, a pediatrician saying, “I’m sorry, son, I can’t see you today unless you pledge allegiance to Harvey, my invisible rabbit”… that would be wrong.  And weird… though (IMACANSHO) not a jot weirder than lots of other belief systems out there. 

    Personally, I’d actually be happy to elect anyone as President—regardless of his or her religion or sexual habits—if he or she would fulfill just some very basic criteria:
    – Has visited at least four countries in three continents.  And not just on business.
    – Can read—and speak—at higher than a sixth grade level.
    – Is respected by more than half a dozen world leaders.  And not the machete-wielding ones, either!
    – Has publicly admitted to being wrong… and apologized!
    – Has an innate sense of curiosity about the world… including people, science, the arts, etc.

    And, most importantly…

    – Views the world LOGICALLY.  Doesn’t make decisions to appease some invisible being or out of “faith” or whatever… because all of us, dammit, are likely to see *different* invisible beings depending upon what we’ve ingested recently… and frankly, it makes a hell of a lot more long term sense to have faith in science and scientists (who haven’t been muzzled by bureaucrats, but that’s another story).  A candidate who avoids run-on sentences would be even a better man than I! 😛

    And, a helpful example:
    WRONG:  “I’m signing this bill because the Flying Spaghetti Monster told me that it’s the right thing to do.”
    RIGHT:  “I’m signing this bill because all independent research consistently shows it’s the logical choice based upon a thorough assessment of risks, opportunities, and benefits.”

    *  *  *

    So, zigging back to the original issue, I really don’t get why people would care about the belief system of their President.  Then again, I also don’t get why many people elected our last one because—and, as Dave Barry would say, I swear I am not making this up—they could really themselves see chuggin’ a beer with him.  Look, I know lots of guys who are amiable and often quite entertaining (and frequent) bar dwellers.  However, I sure as hell wouldn’t want them as my neurosurgeon.  Or life advisor.  Or Leader of the Free World.

    No, I’d like to have someone who is insanely smart and sober and thoughtful.  Even a total nerd.  Sure, it’d be nice if he were social enough to not bungle through pleasantries with other heads of state, but I bet even the most socially awkward nerd wouldn’t be runnin’ around giving unsolicited shoulder massages.  Honest.  And wouldn’t that be a delightful improvement right there? 😀

    *  *  *

    In the meantime, it really saddens me that so many folks harbor such a prejudice against atheists, homosexuals, and, indeed, probably anyone who “threatens” their intellect, sexuality, or overall belief structure.  How is it that so many people—especially (I’m also sad to say) Americans—are so damn insecure? 

    Look, I think ABBA wrote delightful music.  I get teary-eyed at many Sondheim musicals.  If you don’t feel the same way, 

    you have lousy taste 

     hey that’s hunky dory.  As long as you don’t get elected as President and say… okay, due to my undying love for ABBA and Sondheim, I am going to put 42% of our budget into ABBA and Sondheim museums in every city.  In the world!  We’re going to take over Funkistan and put museums there for the ABBA- and Sondheim-less heathens!

    Fine, fine, I’m getting a bit silly.  Belief in invisible beings is, I suppose, more profound than my tastes in music and theatre.  And, you might argue, someone’s belief system might guide them in their executive decisions.  Wars in the name of spaghetti sauces.  Tax policies to favor yellow marshmallow peep production.  And that, my friend, would be wrong.  Very wrong.

    Logic transcends all of this.  If only so many folks weren’t quite so busy forcing beliefs on others.  Maybe if we had just had better logic and statistics teachers in school?  Hmm….

  • Would "Required Donation" work?

    I am an avid fan—and financial supporter—of KQED, the Bay Area’s public radio station.  And once again, I’ve been massively annoyed by the most recent (and seemingly monthly) pledge drive.

    A few thoughts have sprung up into my head:

    • Damn, this sucks.
    • I already donated; why do I have to continue to listen to this?!
    • Wouldn’t it be awesome if somehow those people who donated got to hear actual programming, not the pledge drives?
    • I hope those regular listeners who can afford to donate but haven’t end up with a flock of bloated pigeons presenting a large splattery “gift” on their cars.  Daily.

    As I continued to think about this situation—independent of the actual technical constraints associated with limiting the broadcast to only paying members—I felt a bit guilty… recognizing that not everyone could afford to be a member at even the basic $40-a-year level.

    But what if…

    What if KQED—again, ignoring the technical constraints—could somehow be made to be broadcast only to members… but people could become members for as little as a penny a year.

    That’s right.  In order to become a member and hear the broadcast, you’d have to do this every year:
    – Fill out a form (online or on paper)
    – Pay something.  Anything.  Even a penny.

    Perhaps the station could propose membership tiers or a “suggested” donation; how about, for instance, 1/10th of 1% (1/1000th) of your household’s pre-tax annual income.  Single folks making $80,000 a year, for instance, would pay $80/year—or less than 22 cents a day.

    Or maybe the station’d just leave payment completely up to each individual’s discretion, like this coffee shop in Seattle. (incidentally, I’m pretty sure I thought of this “required donation” idea before I read about Terra Bite, but no doubt it placed a reminder in my head :-P)

    *  *  *

    While this idea is technically infeasible for standard over-the-air broadcasts, I’m wondering if it has ever been tried for software or Web site tools or content libraries.  Oh, sure, I’ve seen lots of “donationware” (“Please… if you use this, consider donating something”).  But I have never seen any service or product require a payment but not require a specific amount.

    My questions for you:

    1. Have you ever seen this tried?  If so, did you actually pay for the service or product? 
    2. Do you think the implementation of this idea by people or companies would result in them making more money or less… compared to either A) Giving away the product, but requesting a donation   and   B) Charging a fixed amount?
    3. Think of your favorite content-based Web site (besides this one)… a blog, an online zine, etc.  If they required payment (with even a penny qualifying), would you become a member?  Why or why not?
    4. Think of a favorite software program or online tool that you currently do not pay for.  Would you pay for it under this sort of “donation required” plan?  Why or why not?

  • All "friends" aren’t created equal! (why we need better relationship marking in social networks)

    I’m planning on quitting twitter.  Flickr—at least as a social site—is getting frustratingly unwieldly.  You know why?  Because pretty much all social sites like this treat all my friends, co-workers, acquaintances, online buddies the same, and it’s a big, stupid, completely off-putting mess!

    Sure, these services want to reduce complexity… they know that many folks may not want to take the time to put friends into groups.  And eventually, some really smart service is going to actually do it automatically for me (“Hmm… Adam only looks at Fred’s pictures once in a while, but he looks at Mary’s photos minutes after he’s notified of her updates…”).

    Look, I’m not an insanely popular guy.  But I have over 600 people in my personal contacts folder.  I regularly interact with tons people at work, and sincerely care (personally) about at least a dozen or two of ‘em (to the point where I want to see their travel photos, want to know when they’re excited or depressed, etc.).  But when people have “friended” me on Twitter or Flickr, I’ve often unselectively reciprocated… and now I’m just getting overloaded.  Too much info.  Too much info I do not care about.

    And this is where nearly all social services seem to get things wrong.  At risk of being callous, I could pretty much care less if a distant acquaintance is having an off day or just uploaded photos of his Aunt Elda’s wedding.  But I sure as hell want to know if my office mate is about to arrive at work grouchy or an awesome friend in a different timezone is having a rough week, and so on.  To the extent that social services of all types can eventually alert us to events and feelings that mean a lot to us, that’s a huge win.

    Flickr lets me mark someone as a contact, friend, or family.  That’s somewhat useful, but I’d say that these distinctions barely scratch the surface in helping me manage photostreams or viewing permissions.

    Facebook lets me mark someone as a “limited friend” (is that like “single serving friends” from Fight Club? :-P), but—again—that’s not all that helpful. 

    Why can’t I rank my contacts’ importance on a scale from 1-10… 10 being I want to know their every feeling and action and 1 being I don’t want to be bugged by any notifications ‘bout them unless they’re getting married… and to a hot celebrity.  Or in addition to / instead of degrees of that sort, why can’t I indicate that I want monthly digests of most my contacts, weekly digests of a few, and daily or even as-it-happens updates on my select group of best-friends?

    *  *  *

    And it’s not just what I want to know, it’s also about what I want to share.  There are very different things I want to share with my Mom, my recent-ex-girlfriend, most of my colleagues, my closest friends, my roommate, and so on.  I should be able to put my contacts into “share groups”—with easily check-box-able overriding options per shared item—and then quickly and powerfully indicate which groups I want receiving which update or types of updates.

    And, again, to the extent to which my preferences and habits can be algorithmically determined (albeit manually overridable) and designed to streamline my sharing and discovery choices, that’s super!  Facebook’s gotta know whose wall I post on most often, who I tag in most of my photos, and so on.  Surely it can make educated guesses on the strength of our ties.

    Oh, and just to make things more complicated… it’s not all about only the strength of ties… it’s about context.  Many of my colleagues and friends get excited about news about new geek toys or web sites.  Other friends are in my lindy hop (swing dancing) group, and many of them couldn’t care less about the newest Web 2.0 doodad.

    So I may want to share tech stuff with some friends, arts stuff with others, personal musings and rants with close buddies, and so on.  Complicated, yes, and likely with no absolute/easy answers.  But at least the social networking/sharing services could try a bit harder! 😀

    *  *  *

    So probably this week is when I’m gonna uninstall twitteroo and give up on both reading and posting occasional updates.  It’s not just a matter of signal vs. noise, which I lamented earlier, but the complete lack of any sort of targeting, grouping, etc.  There are days in which I really do want to read the blatherings of my fellow SEO/SEM/Search-engine geeks.  But some days I just want to know if a good friend is happy or sad.  Or if another friend finally bought her airplane tickets to come back to the States.  Right now, I can neither selectively broadcast nor read notes sorted/filtered by strength or type of ties.  And that’s jarring, frustrating, distracting, and whole ton of other negative adjectives.

    I’m not going to delete my Twitter account just yet.  In case it’s not clear, I think there are some compelling cases for this sort of thing… and I’m hoping that eventually the service will help me share and glean what my friends and I are “doing now” with greater granularity and thoughtfulness.

    And indeed, I hope other services eventually wise-up, too.  MySpace may be the most popular social network, but it is so (I’m confidently sure) only because of the obnoxiously strong power of the network effect, not because it really supports social sharing and discovery in an effective way.  The sooner other services learn that not all relationships are equal, the sooner the online world will truly help us manage and improve our (real, offline) relationships.

    *  *  *

    Updated on June 18, 2007:
    I don’t always agree with Robert Scoble’s take on communications and networking and I’m frankly displeased that he’s invoked “nazis” for something far from evil, but I nonetheless think he makes some excellent points (related to my rant above) in his blog entry “Social networks as “friend” Nazi (design flaws in Facebook, Jaiku, Twitter).”

  • Zap ridiculous disclaimers, reform CEO pay in one fell swoop

    Stupid disclaimers.  You know ‘em, and you probably either ignore them or laugh at them.  Slightly enhanced samples that are either spoken at 420 words a minute or that take up a bazillion lines of tiny tiny text on the back of ads in news magazines.

    • “Warning: Stunt driver on stunt track in stunt car.  Do not drive like this [except in Rome]”
    • “Warning: Medication may cause sniffling, itching, numbness in extremities, permanent paralysis, or death. [+ 31415928 more lines that no one bothers to read]
    • “Remember, drink responsibly!  [Also, be nice to your mom.  Put up the toilet seat.  Don’t be prejudiced.  Love a geek today.]
    • “Results not typical.  Your results may vary. [Let’s face it… 99.9999% of people on this diet don’t lose an ounce.  We just managed to find the one freak who had liposuction after taking our product.]

    Completely useless, aren’t they?  Somehow I don’t think we’re gonna hear stuff like this from beer-bongin’ frat boys:
    “Hey Sarah, I’m concerned about you!  I mean, Mr. Jose Cuervo insists that we drink responsibly, and I just don’t think you are!  Can I get you an orange juice instead?”
    “Whoa, dude!  Didn’t you listen to that ad?  It said DON’T drive like this!  Come on, pull it back to 55 man!”

    *  *  *

    And then there’s the seemingly unrelated issue of corporate compensation.
    Forbes magazine lists some of the worst (most unproductive) CEOs and notes their compensation, including:
    – Richard M Kovacevich, Wells Fargo, $72.04 million
    – Edward E Whitacre Jr , AT&T, $49.01 million
    and, brace yourself:
    – Barry Diller, IAC/InterActiveCorp, $295.14 million (over half a BILLION dollars in the last 5 years, and ranked as one of the 15 most unproductive CEOs in the entire survey)

    Which raises some questions:

    1. If compensation is intended to reward good performance, why are so many outstanding leaders (in the public and private) sector making five figure salaries while many total losers and ruthless-jerk CEOs are making more than 100x their salary?
    2. If we also assume that compensation is intended to incent good performance, shouldn’t we ask: do any humans really *need* $xx millions per year to get out of bed and work hard for the day?  Given that there are, absolutely without a doubt, an enormous number of extremely intelligent and hardworking and respectable folks who would do wonders for a company at $x milion or even $xxx thousand per year, well… WTF?!

    Admittedly, I’ve kind of stacked the deck in my above examples a bit:  I mean, really, who loves their bank?  Or their phone company?  Personally, I find AT&T to be one of the most unpleasant, irresponsible, and customer-non-centric companies out there, but then hey, maybe that’s just me ;-).

    *  *  *

    Never fear, I have the answer to both problems… a way to get rid of moronic speed-read or 1pt font disclaimers while effectively shaming the grossly overpaid CEOs who perform worse than would Paris Hilton in a dramatic Shakespearean theatre role.

    In another article, Forbes complains that trying to do anything about CEO compensation is likely to either be unsuccessful or backfire, perhaps resulting in a further crapification and obfuscation in shareholder reports.  But my idea wouldn’t have that problem.

    Ready for it?  Replace the disclaimers with two required placements of Consumer and Stockholder Truth:

    • On every TV, radio, and print advertisement, the following must be sanely presented: “Last year, the [company-name] CEO made $78 million, median [company-name] worker: $11,000.  Stock has decreased 17%.”
    • On every stockholder quarterly / annual report, the company must present a “Compensation and Performance Summary” in one page, in normal font.  It’d include exactly what the CEO and other key executives took home, how the company did (particularly in its sector), and so on.  No forward-looking B.S., no big long charts.  Just a one page, ideally-bulleted summary.  I mean, hell, I don’t have time to read 50+ page shareholder reports, do you?  Didn’t think so.

    Okay, so I’m kidding a bit with the first part of the idea.  But seriously… don’t you think that there’d be some hell to pay for CEOs who were (effectively) publicly outed as greedy and incompetent asses?  And, in an ideal world, also some come-uppance for the lazy or thoughtless jerks who approved their compensation structure?  My favorite is when *especially* bad CEOs are finally shown the door… and then they get a $100 million dollar severance package or the like.  Often times, this happens around the same time that free coffee is eliminated from break rooms and lots of minimum wage folks are let go with two weeks pay.

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    Having seen what I perceive to be more sane and more humane economic structures and practices in place in Europe and Australia, I admit that if I could wave a magic wand and force exec pay to be no more than 10x worker bee pay, I’d do it.  But yeah, that’s never going to happen here in America.  So instead, I’d love to see executive losers simply get tomato’d in the public eye and forced to resign in shame.  Can you imagine, for instance, an “American CEO Idol” combined with a “CEO Gong Show” and “CEO Survivor” where CEOs have to defend their performance and keep others happy or get voted out of the cushy work world?  Not quite sure how instructive it’d be, but it’d sure be entertaining :-D.

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    Related BLADAM entries:
    – The Free (and Stupid) Market