T-shirt stats

So, what do you do when you’re home alone on a Saturday night, you don’t feel like going out, and you also aren’t in the mood to be very productive?

No, not THAT ;-).

Why, you optimize your t-shirt drawers, of course.  Exactly!  And so far, I’ve determined that I have:

  • 13 Google t-shirts (fewer than half gotten since I became a Googler, interestingly enough)
  • 13 dance-related shirts
  • 13 other somewhat-decent shirts that I may actually wear (okay, this is weird… I had no idea my t-shirt collection was so bad-luckedly symmetrical!)
  • 5 [whew!] remaining t-shirts that I don’t want to be caught wearing, so I’ll donate these to Goodwill (:cough: unoriginal and oft-oversized swag)

A sampling of some of the stranger ones:

  • “Got Blood?” with a full-sized mosquito featured.  This was a birthday gift.  I think it’s a rather neat shirt, and I love my parents, but sometimes I wonder about them :D.
  • “Sleep with me” with a domain name that unintentionally (in English) sounds somewhat similar to a sexually transmitted disease (but yes, S, I still like and wear this… I just have to deal with a few puzzled looks!)
  • “Dance Your Pants Off!” featuring SpongeBob SquarePants (I admit it, I bought this off the clearance rack at Target.  And a rather concerned bakery proprietor once seemingly-seriously urged me… “I ask that you keep your pants on in here, please!”)
  • “Single Red Alien Seeking Portly Humans”—a rather humorous 24Hour Fitness (gym chain) shirt.  The corresponding billboards added, “They’ll eat the fat ones first.”

…plus a mock fraternity shirt, a BIIIIIIG cartoon frog, a fake Mastercard commercial (”…priceless”), and more.  Sadly, this doesn’t take into account the 20+ t-shirts I had that were stolen from me about 6 years ago.  So many college-memories-in-fabrics, lost 🙁

Hmm… now that I think of it, the first four could be strangely (albeit sickly) tied together.  Odd.

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So now the questions for YOU!
1) What do YOU do when you’re feeling down / unproductive / anti-social?
2) What kind of t-shirts do you have, and what are some of the stranger ones?
3) Is this as bad as a cat-eating-a-cheese-sandwich post?

*  *  *

And now… a little something for those of you still bravely (or boredly) reading:
A friendly Googler fellow gave me some cool (“Up and to the right!”) Google Analytics t-shirts (size: large).  I’m offering one of them to a humble (and limerickly talented) BLADAM reader, and yes, I’ll pay to ship it anywhere in the world for you :-D. 

Just two key stipulations*: 
1) You have to write an entertaining geek limerick below (doesn’t need to be Google-related!)
2) You must do so when signed into your BLADAM account.

Please *do not* post your address publicly.
I’ll mail the winner in a week or so and get the info then. 
(By the way… I *was* going to throw in Google Analytics and Writely invites, but the meanies that run those services went ahead and opened ‘em up to the unwashed masses before I could use those perks as additional prizes.  Curses… foiled again!)

Good luck, and have fun!

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* Obligatory disclaimer and contest rules:
I work for Google, but I have nothing to do with Analytics or Writely, nor is this high-stakes contest in any way endorsed by Google, other Googlers, any specific Google fans, or any of my sane or insane friends.  Contest not open to Googlers or their immediate families.  Void where prohibited.  Do not give t-shirt to infants or children under three, as suffocation may result.  Bearer does not inherit the ability to fly or garner unusually high values of PageRank.  Do not taunt happy funshirt.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  Shirt is not meant to discriminate against liberals or those who are left-handed.  Not waterproof, fireproof, or catproof.  Do not ingest.  Remember, in an emergency, your nearest shirt may be behind you.  The answer is 42.



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5 responses to “T-shirt stats”

  1. tedster Avatar

    “Giardia – the State Parasite of Idaho” tee
    Chief Joseph tee
    Tibetan Thangka tee
    Cave Painting at Lascaux tee

    And when I have free time I invent new food.

  2. Adam Avatar

    Heh heh… interesting shirts, Tedster!

    And Matt… no, I like your shirt.  I was referring more to the lame shirts I get at conferences from the exhibit booths, e.g., “dumbsite.com—your one stop shop for widgets.  Visit us today!”  I don’t even mind the advertising so much as the complete lack of creativity or humor or even decent design aesthetic 😮

  3. Adam Avatar


    Let’s say 11:59pm PST this Friday 😀

  4. Rebecca Avatar

    There once was a Googler named Adam
    whose obsession with food I can’t fathom.
    He “walked on his hands” at Search Bash in San
    Jose, which is why I think he’s quite rad (tham).

  5. James Avatar

    Hey Adam, is there internally any more good feeling after being a Googler ?

What do you think?