Winning a girl’s heart… almost

So I was in this loud and fun bar in Germany last week with a couple of friends, and this one really cute girl somewhat nearby me kept looking at me and smiling, poking her friends to say something, looking back, and so on.

I smiled back, of course, and was tempted to actually go over and buy her a drink or something equally chivalrous/stereotypical/dumb, when she leaned over and said something to me.

I understand some German, but it’s been years since I lived in Germany and it was hard to hear her over the din. I politely asked her to repeat what she said, and she did so, but I was still puzzled.

One of the friends I was with noticed the confusion and helpfully translated. “She wants you to take a picture of her and her friends” he said.

Now I was even more confused. I didn’t have a camera (my wonderful Olympus 3030z was stolen in Estonia and not yet replaced), so I didn’t know what she could be talking about.

Then, as I realized that I was holding my somewhat-biggish Palm phone in my hands, it hit me. She thought I had one of those camera phones!

I explained back to her that, sorry, it was a Palm phone, not a camera phone. Blank look. I clarified, no, it cannot take pictures.

She looked at me with an expression of distinct disappointment after learning that I had a geek phone, not a camera phone. It was clear that being able to surf the net and access my appointments and to do list and even play Bejeweled wouldn’t win back her interest or attention.

I went back to drinking with my friends, humbled, saddened, and single.







33 responses to “Winning a girl’s heart… almost”

  1. tolulade Avatar

    The higher you go the cooler it becomes achieve what you wanna achieve and God will help you through

  2. Adam Avatar

    Okay, a few thoughts:

    – If you want to keep her, please, for the love of, uh, God, don’t let her hear any of your silk/sock metaphors 🙂

    – Condoms are pretty good about preventing the transfer of infections.

    – You’re posting on my blog and you have the nerve to tell me you’re not checking back here every single day?!? 😀

  3. ben Avatar

    Pardon me, Adam. I didn’t realize it was a cardinal sin not to visit your blog daily.. LOL I dont get on my computer daily, let alone check the countless number of sites I have visited in past inernet quests for answers. On a different note, I do appreciate your advice on the matter posted by yours truely, albeit a bit sarcastic in places, it was useful and I respect the opinions represented. Anywho, later days my friend, bye. -Ben

  4. Matt Avatar

    I need some advise on how to win a girl’s heart…..
    There is this girl, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I have had my eye on her for almost a year now.  We are friends, but not as close as i would like to be, and we really don’t talk that often, and I want to show her that I am good boyfriend material and that we would be great together, so how can I make her mine???

  5. ron Avatar

    well i like this girl she has a kid and 1 on the way and a bf but we are freinds, dont think i want to go out with her but if i did.. you just have to be better than other men she knows take her better places ,buy her nice things and just be a good freinds treat her like you would a male friend of yours like a buddy not like a girl just like your mate by saying ‘hey you fancy going out for a drive somewhere like the beach then for a quick drink etc ..wait for her to make signs or just stay friends and see what happens but dont come on strong or ask her out like an idiot when your drunk just drop hints and see reaction ,if its a total no! stay friends cos you never know if she likes you as a freind wots that tell ya? girls tell little lies stay friends for now and good luck! Ron england

  6. Ali Avatar

    How to win a girl’s heart who only wants to be friends?

  7. Andy Avatar

    Hey, I can’t help but get the overwhelming sensation that there are more questions being asked than being answered, and while I’d like to think I know most answers, I think I’ll go along with the general trend in asking (not to mention the small, inconsequential fact that I don’t know the answer). I like this chick called Marita, and we’ve been good as friends for the last ooh… 5 years. I like her, but I need to know some sure-fire ways of winning hearts. (PS, To any budding musicians out there, writing a song – while it can do wonders – it can be disastrous if used to early on in the peace…)

    Cheers, Andy

  8. Alex Avatar

    Hey, There’s this girl right, and oh my gosh she is so beautiful(brazilian). And I have know her for a couple of years. But at one point in time she was interested in me I could totally tell. But now things have changed and all these other guys are coming on the scene. This one loser gave her a bunch of flowers and had her totally hooked but then wussed out for some stupid reason. So i guess what I am trying to get at is how can i get her! I have dreams about her(all totally innocent). And her brother totally likes me and wants us to hook up and he’s always giving me new things and stuff. But he says my main problem is self-confidence. But I was wondering if there was something! anything!I could do to get her? Please Please help

  9. Alex Avatar

    does anyone have advice or something to say??

  10. Adam Avatar

    Yes, there are several things you can do.

    One, realize blogs are not always the best places for discussion ;-).  You’re more likely to get a response at 🙂

    Also, I think her brother may indeed be right.  Confidence is one of the most alluring things about a guy that can win women over.  Sometimes this manifests itself unpleasantly (women going for arrogant pricks), but other times, it’s more reasonable (women attracted to a talented dancer or athlete).

    So you have to ask yourself… are you confident in what you do?  How you stand?  Or are you always apologizing, slouching, making excuses, humbling yourself?

    Make sure you’re damn proud of yourself.  Then you have a better chance of winning her.

    And whatever you do, don’t be desperate ;-).  Be a gentleman, but an assertive, non-clingy one.

    And in the meantime, get thee to my SmileZone forum and post in the Relationships or Friendship section!

  11. ED Avatar

    hey i could use a little advice im still in love with my x its been a while since we talked and now we have been talking for about a month and i talk to her over the internet alot and on the phone having great conversations, luaghing, etc.
    i would like to get back together with her but its hard cuase shes got another bf she was gonna break up with him last night but todays his birthday and i dont know whats gonna happen with that. i know she has feelings for me still cuase a few nights ago she was crying over the phone talking to me and she always says shell never love anyone as much as she loved me im thinkin if she says that than none of her realationships will last lol! if you got any avice for me please help i dont know what to do or to say to get her back

  12. Brad Avatar

    Hey i could use a little advice, a couple weeks ago i met this girl i met on the internet,so we have went out on dates and been intamate. The only problem is she has a bf in arizona in college who is a complete jerk to her on the phone.and it would be my guess since he is in college that he is prolly cheating on her. she still seems to be in love with him but at the same time she is interested in me.and the thing is i really like this girl because i think she is one in a million, i only got a week to change her mind on who she can choose so i really need some advice.

  13. Jordan Avatar

    Alright, you guys gotta help me! You see, there’s this girl named Megan that I really really love, but there are a few problems. 1:She’s got a bf. 2:Megan and I talk to each other and we get along fine, but she only thinks of me as a friend and nothing else! How can I tell her how I feel without looking like a total dork and the chance that she won’t like me afterward! Please! I need some advice!

  14. Jordan Avatar

    Please! I need some help. I would greatly appreaciate some advice! Thank you.

  15. Adam Avatar

    This is a blog… and not the best place for advice ;-).  You really should go here: for free, friendly advice 🙂

  16. Jordan Avatar

    Thanks for the address, Adam. I’ll check it out.

  17. benson asama Avatar
    benson asama

      i met this some couples of weeks ago i told her that i love her , but her said all guys are thesame that when they say i mnlove u its just 4 what they and after that they dumpt u , after getting what they want . so plz tell me how i will win her cos i really love her.

  18. Dennis Avatar

    See I like this girl Rebecca. She is pretty and smart. But I sometimes act completely different around my friends than I do when I am by myself or just one on one. She likes me when we are alone and seemed interested. However at school, I act different for some reason and she does not like the way I behave at school. The most obvious response would be of course change your behavior at school, but just the people I hang out with are artists who don’t believe in the “rules” of life. I agree with this on the one hand, but on the other, I really want this girl to like me. What do I do? Blow off my friends, or take a shot (not a sure thing) at the girl of my dreams?

  19. Junxiang Avatar

    hey guys, i am reali clueless.. i met tis girl at a pub, we exchange phone numbers, etc.. start msgin wif each others everyday. aft about a month, i told her i like her. i ask her not to think too much, i just wanna let her know how i feel.
    then she told me that she wont accept guys younger than her(i am 2yrs younger).. but our msging still continues n i reali like her alot.
    she ask to stay as friends. but wat i wan to know is, does anyone make buddy over one month? she msg me everyday without fail. n sometimes the msging will take up to 4hours at least.
    i reali dunno wat to do.. can any kind soul plz help me?

  20. matt Avatar

    hi theres this girl i realy like she the most butifull girl i have ever seen. ive realy liked her for 3 yrs but iv been to shy to say somate to her and we dont talk alote but i realy want to win her heart but i just dont no how to tell her

  21. kamran Avatar

    hey matt i have sum advice 4 you and trust me iv bin through it ok firstly is she ure freind or is she a woman you just see on the street from time 2 time because being her freind is a good starting place

  22. soldier Avatar

    ok im not very old but i really need some help on this im sixteen and more confused then just about anyone i know   see theres this girl i like ive liked her for a very long time   but she says she only likes me as a friend   i dont want to put any presure on her becasue we r friends and i dont want to ruin that and i mean ive made alot of little changes for her but at the same not i make sure not to change who i am but just some little things i do that might be imature or whatever i try to spend time with her but we live about 40 minits away from each other so i dont get to see her very oftin and when i do i dont much talk becasue im scared of sayin sumthin stupid i know i sould have confidence but its hard because when im with her and shes talking to other guys it bothers me i and i understand that she has guys friends whom are my friends to but i am a jelouse person but i dont act on it cuz i know shes doing nuthing rong   ive bin single for about 11 mounths and i know good things come in time so im patiant but what i want to know is sould i wait ontill i see a sign that lets me know how she feels about me or would that make her thing i dont take intrest   or sould i just spend as much time with her as posible get to know her better and then hopefuly she will take intrest (not to brag but i am a nice person i do stupid things sumtimes but ive grown up alot in the past year or so id do anything for her   i just dont know what to do to get her interested in finding out if we will work out or if its better to be friends)  plz help me out man i need someones advice whos bin threw relationships and know what there talking about becasue i acualy do love this girl more then anything in the world and i just dont know what to do
    p.s. this is very important to me she is very important to me so look over my letter carfuly and give me the best advice u can   thanks

  23. slayer Avatar

    i am in love with this girl. I asked her out with a plan i came up with. It went all well. She said she likes me very much but doesnt want to go out with me.
    After that i found out that before i asked her out, her bf broke up with her and then wanted to return to her again. So on the day i asked her out, she was deciding whether to take him back or not.
    Unfortunately, she did.
    Then we are just good friends. well. not really, we are BEST friend, so she said. She told all these things she wouldnt tell others etc.
    I am trying to hold back my feelings towards her right now but its hard. i love her too much. But how do i win her heart? right now the conversations between us are somewhat better than normal good buddies and slightly worse than those between a couple if you know what i meant.

    however, The problem is, her bf is like the most popular guy in the school (im in a different school). It would be wonderful if you can help me 🙂

  24. deboaf Avatar

    i love the girl much but dont know how to get her to me as a dearest lover and am suffering .

    will i die ?  deboaf.

  25. OzStriker Moonta Demons#23 Avatar
    OzStriker Moonta Demons#23

    (!)   Alright all i’ve got some things that REALLY help in a relationship. I’m only 16, haha, ive had relationships on and off some for months some for weeks n some one night stands since i was 14. Not too long ‘aye but i have learned some things. I’ve finally found someone i love, as in love, not really like, love!
    You need this girl to be able to trust you and feel so to say protected around you…
    Listen to what she has to say if its important and comfort her…
    You need to get to know her friends too not too well but enough to have conversations and get them to know you pretty well so there is no problems via them…
    You need to get to know ger favourite places and take her there and take her out to dinner even if its realli hard (is for me because of mi age)…
    & Realli one thing become her friend…

  26. Deraj Avatar

    I met this girl. We both feel like we’ve known eachother our whole lives. She just got out of a long relationship w/ an asshole who she still has feelings with. She wants to be with me, and I want to be with her. But she’s having trouble getting over her ex-boyfriend. Any advice on what I should do? To either convince her that she can be happier with me instead of him.

  27. Nick Avatar

    okay okay, here you go, of course you have to ALWAYS start off talking to a girl by this….this is called the three second rule…you stare into a girls eyes for three seconds, and before three seconds are up, you say “Hi, Hello, anything you want…a greeting basically…” and 100% you always get a smile and a response back…and if you have eye contact with a girl for more than three seconds, your screwed, because it starts to get awkward between you two, or to her, atleast…but yea…NEVER, i repeat…NEVER, no matter HOW good looking a girl is…NEVER call a girl Hot or Sexy, always call her Beautiful, or Gorgeous…gauranteed to make her think your a different kind of guy…they like thta…okay more later

  28. Jeffrey Avatar

    I had been friends with this beautiful girl named Dori for the past 5 years but I’ve never really gotten the chance to spend any quality time with her except on special occasions here and there.

    She’s currently living on the west coast with her grandparents, but we still talk on occasion via our cell phones. I’ve expressed interest in going out to visit her someday in California but I’m worried the longer we wait the harder it’s going to be to re-connect on any level. How do I discuss these things with her without sounding too clingy?

  29. Jacky Avatar

    im a farily intelligent guy, im studying chemical engineering and just getting back into school, had some problems, working through them. I always seem to meet a girl who initially im just chill with and then after what feels like being suckered in i end up liking her a good deal withing a few months. Currently theres a young lady (21, im 22) and we seem to get a long. Shes not very affectionate though and theres always this awkward hard to get/ i dont want to be gotten game. Im really just sick of being played by women and having to worry abt not giving up too much in fear of just being used – if u dont make it hard for them to use you then they abuse you.

    to save you a lot of sappy mournful reading ill summarize – i really like her, i want to be involved with her but
    A) she doesnt seem to reciprocate my emotions
    b) but she does seem to care

    shes told me abt some guy she likes, so i figure i should just back off and do what iv been doing, being as good a male friend as i can. idk though.
    is it even worth my time to be around a person who doesnt treat me with the same respect and priority as i do to them?

    i spose its a matter of stopping the bleeding: should i just stop hanging out with her often and just make it a once in a while thing or should i just fuck it and go focus on another more viable potential partner?

  30. David Avatar

    hey i need help, how can a man win the heart of a girl, the girl knows me well in fact is a greatt friend , and she even knows i love her,and this time i have told her time and again, but she either doesn’t think i mean it or i don’t know
    please help me

  31. bernard amakye Avatar
    bernard amakye

    if u really like her try to speak out confidently to open mind to expect any reply

  32. Daniel Avatar

    All you guys should check out ‘The mystery Method’ im not trying to sell anything, but this stuff really helped me out. From body language, to what to say, and why girls react the way they do when we do and say things. seriously guys, have a look.

  33. Ravin Avatar

    Hi guys out there most of you seem to have issues with your love life but i guess we should all gather as a group and discuss what we think is the best solution for each other….well i myself have my own issues 2 start of with but i think would be great if we all could communicate and exchange our opinions cz sometimes when we are blinded by love we cant really think straight the best possible solution for ourselves therefor its good that we discuss our situations frankly cz someone might have a good solution to the situation we face cheers friends….=) my email add is ravkrz@y! so neone if there is nething i could b of assistance please let me know but i cant promise anything but ill definately try my best 2 help out =)

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